The Addictionary of Oxford English: Diarrhea

Posted by Sir Alexander Johns | Oct 2, 2017 | Addiction, The Addictionary of Oxford English | 0 |

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Definition of Diarrhea in English:



1 [mass noun] A condition in which faeces are discharged from the bowels frequently and in a liquid form. 

Diarrhea has a noble heritage. The word comes from the Greek, after all. It just has a much better ring to it than, say, the runs, or Montezuma’s revenge. Oxford English

Diarrhea Quotes about Oxford English

Oxford was profoundly lactose intolerant as a boy. So much that he could scarcely give one of the orphanage mousers a bowl of cream without shitting his brains out. Once, he decided to eat a bowl of ice cream before bed. Needless to say, one of the other orphans came screaming into my room in the middle of the night, saying, ‘The stink! The stink! You’ve got to stop him!’ Well, I ran into the boys’ dormitory, and there was poor little Oxford, rolling around and convulsing in the mess of his own diarrhea.” Eliza Plumber (Former Sorbester Orphanage Dorm Mum)

“In the eighties, Oxford took quite a liking to the band Skid Row. Probably because of all the unsightly stains on his knickers. I swear, that man couldn’t eat at a Wetherspoons without getting the diarrhea.” Darren Minster (Acquaintance #10,002)

“You’re not interviewing old English after this; are you? Better hope you don’t get the diarrhea. When he throws dinner parties, he goes out of his way to make sure his guests have a high probability of shitting themselves. Expect lots of boiled cabbage, prune juice, and desserts made from Fiber One bars. Worst part is that crazy bastard doesn’t even have Immodium on him! No Pepto, not a drop of Mylanta… and don’t even think to ask for ginger or peppermints to settle your stomach. All he’s got is milk of magnesia and bars of Ex-Lax that he offers to guests as though they’re sweets.” – Vera Chowder (Former Neighbor, 1993-1997)

“You know that part of Bohemian Rhapsody that goes ‘Mama Mia, let me go?” Oxford just can’t sing it normally. He sings ‘Diarrhea, let me go.’ He actually petitioned Freddie Mercury to change the lyrics once. To which Freddie rudely – though appropriately – told him to fuck off.” Terry Billungs (Former Queen Roadie)

“You wanna know what they called me on the playground? Diarrhea English! I’m going to tell you something that someone should have told my dear old dad decades ago. When you’re naming your child, you have to think like a thick-headed playground bully. Couldn’t’ve just named me something normal, like Mary or Susan – no – I have to be Rhea. Diarrhea English. D’you know how much therapy I’ve gone through? Rhea English (Daughter #5)

“I’ll admit, I should have spoken up about not wanting to name our daughter Rhea. But they had me on a combination of scopaline and morphine, and by the time I woke up, little Rhea was all ready to go home. Apparently Oxford was inspired after the Greek goddess Rhea, but don’t believe that load of bollocks for a moment. It’s his diarrhea obsession. I know it is.” Annette English, (Ex-Wife #3)


Late Middle English: via late Latin from Greek diarrhoia, from diarrhein ‘flow through’, from dia ‘through’ + rhein ‘to flow’.


diarrhoea /ˌdʌɪəˈrɪə/

If you or a loved one you know has an Addiction problem, whether it be drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex or any other addiction under the sun like our friend Oxford English, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.

This Dictionary entry was curated by Sir Alexander Johns.

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