The Addictionary of Oxford English | Light

Posted by Sir Alexander Johns | Mar 2, 2017 | Addiction, The Addictionary of Oxford English | 0 |

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Definition of light(noun) in English:



1[mass noun] The natural agent that stimulates sight and makes things visible.

‘Of all the babble in the Bible, the one thing I have always taken to heart was when God said, “Let there be light”……….To tell you the truth, I’ve never read the fucking thing, but I like what God said though’  -Oxford English

1.1[count noun] A source of illumination, especially an electric lamp.

‘My favourite night light was by far the moon lander. It fights off the bad people, that one does. Bought it from a Shaman at the Royal Flea or so he says.’   – Oxford English

2[in singular] An expression in someone’s eyes indicating a particular emotion or mood.

‘Fetch me a bit of the ol’Chinese fairy dust and the light in my eyes will be out for days.’  – Oxford English

Light Quotes about Oxford English

“At the age of 7, he claimed to the other boys to be a night light connoisseur, but it was a big con if you ask me. Poor thing was really  just scared of the dark. He took a biggie in his pants pretty good with the power out during the The Great Storm of 52. I only remember it because I’ve never seen so much shit in my whole entire life. It was like he was a bloody elephant or something.”- Sister Sheila (Head Nun at Sorberster Orphanage)

“He always carried a flash light with him wherever he went. I don’t blame the bloke either. I would too if my Mom and Dad were killed because they were shagging in the dark and and couldn’t see the moose head mounted on the wall. Impaled them both. Nasty stuff you know. Poor little bastard found them like that the next morning. Did I mention that I hate fucking Christmas?” – Bob (Some Drunk Guy)

“Not once did we do the hanky panky in the dark. He always needed the light on. A girl can get tired of seeing the same mug making sex faces all the time…..And I did……Twice.”- Diana English (Ex-Wife #5 and #7)

“Everyone thought he was afraid of the dark but I don’t think he was afraid. I just think he loved light. He didn’t like when things closed. He was naive enough to think that if he kept the lights on all the time, everyone else would too. I know this because he told me after we smoked some ol’Chinese fairy dust.” – Gerry Collins (Drug Dealer #112)


Old English lēoht, līht (noun and adjective), līhtan (verb), of Germanic origin; related to Dutch licht and German Licht, from an Indo-European root shared by Greek leukos ‘white’ and Latin lux ‘light’.



About The Author

Sir Alexander Johns

Sir Alexander Johns grew up in South Manchester, the son of the neighborhood gossip, until they were exiled, as his mother began spreading false and malicious rumors when all the towns real information dried up. While in hiding, Alexander picked up his mother's chit chatty skills and applied them to a weekly paper he wrote and distributed at his new Upper School, called 'Bollocks.' Circulation in his first year reached a whopping 1000 copies a week, and he was quickly the most loved, yet hated, person on campus. Alexander's exploits and new found wealth got him accepted into Oxford University where he majored in English and Creative Writing. He recreated his weekly newspaper, this time calling it 'Suck My Bollocks', for the University crowd and it quickly became the National Enquirer of the Oxford world. Money began pouring in. However, the Oxford Elite were not impressed as they were now subject to the same gossip as his previous school and administration. After his first semester, Alexander was quickly dismissed for breaking many school ethics laws about Libel, Slander, and Wire Fraud. Soon after his dismissal, Alexander became obsessed with causing a stir and wrote his first book. It was the Unauthorized Biography of Elton John entitled 'Fat Drug Addict.' It became a huge smash hit and caused a major ruckus in the inner circles of London High Society. He followed that up with an even bigger hit, the Unauthorized Biography of Margaret Thatcher called 'The Many Men in Margaret's Thatch.' He has since written over 20 Unauthorized Biographies and sold over 120 million copies around the world, and was knighted by the Queen of Denmark, in return for never moving to or writing about any member of Danish decent.

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