Am I Addicted To The Internet?

Posted by Sir Alexander Johns | Jan 14, 2019 | Addiction, The Addictionary of Oxford English | 0 |

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Definition of Internet in English:



1  A global computer network providing a variety of information and communication facilities, consisting of interconnected networks using standardized communication protocols.

“Ah, the internet! The world wide web. The information superhighway. The smut machine! Why, in my day, you had to put on sunglasses and buy a copy of Naughty Nips and Raunchy Rears from the dodgy convenience store down the street and hope the local vicar didn’t see you.” Oxford English

Internet Quotes about Oxford English

“Of all his vices, I’d say one the highest ranks up there would be internet gambling. Oxford says he prefers it to traditional gambling because you can still enjoy the light from the outside, and the drinks are less expensive. I go to check up on him once every couple of days – you know – to make sure the old bloke’s still kickin’ – and sometimes he’s barely moved from his computer. Won’t’ve showered or anything, but there’s usually an empty pizza box or two lying next to a discarded bottle of Pims, so I don’t worry too much.” Harvy Winston (Nosy Neighbor Feigning Concern)

“Oh, I hardly cared that Oxford was looking at porn on the internet. Who doesn’t? No, I ended it because of his Ashley Madison account. Oh, well. At least he wasn’t searching Craigslist for Random Encounters.” Meredith Cudgens (Ex-Girlfriend # 2,172)

“The internet is a glorious thing. Oxford was definitely using Craigslist for Random Encounters.” Barry Higgins (Craigslist Random Encounter #39)

“If you wanted to get a hold of Oxford back in the days of dial-up, you had to go over to his house and knock on his door. He absolutely refused to get offline. He thought if he disconnected, he might miss an email. Never did understand exactly how it worked.” – Brian Gillan (Mate from a Pub Down the Street)

“Uncle Oxford’s Facebook is the worst thing ever. He’s always wishing you a happy birthday three days early, asking the official Nando’s page what time they’re open ‘til, and accidentally uploading pictures of the inside of his coat pocket. And don’t even get me started on his Amazon Prime account. He accidentally sent a 500 pack of natural male enhancement pills to my house once, and called panicking the next day, saying he meant to ship geriatric vitamins to himself. God, I wish I had the bollocks to gouge out my own eyes. Someone should take his internet connection away.” Haden English (Scarred Nephew # 1)

“Oxford tried to buy Quaaludes on the internet, but they just sent him Tylenol. He should stick to what he knows – shifty dealers in sticky clubs.” Eric Trott (Random Drug Dealer #2)


1970s (denoting a computer network connecting two or more smaller networks): from inter- ‘reciprocal, mutual’ + network.


Internet /ˈɪntənɛt/

If you or a loved one you know has an Addiction problem, whether it be drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex or any other addiction under the sun like our friend Oxford English, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.

This Dictionary entry was curated by Sir Alexander Johns.

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