The Addictionary of Oxford English: Mail

Posted by Sir Alexander Johns | Mar 19, 2018 | Addiction, The Addictionary of Oxford English | 0 |

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Definition of Mail in English:



1 [mass noun] Letters and parcels sent by post.

“Here’s the mail. It never fails. It makes me want to wag my tail. If, indeed, I had a tail.” – Oxford English (Emotionally reciting the lyrics to a Blue’s Clues song at a slam poetry session)


1 [with object] Send (a letter or parcel) by post.

“When we marry, my dear, I will mail our guests a thousand letters so that they can know the joy of not only our union, but of receiving the gift of the almighty Royal Mail service.” Oxford English (To Stephanie Glumble-English, Ex-Wife #99)

Mail Quotes about Oxford English

“Oxford’s favorite moment in cinematic history comes from Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. You know how the Dursleys won’t let Harry have his Hogwarts letter? Well, that drives Oxford absolutely mad because he’s a fair mail advocate. ‘Give that boy his bloody letter!’ he bellows at the tellie. But then, when all the letters come flying through the fireplace, he jumps up and down like a lad who’s had too much candy floss! It’s his dream, I think, to receive hundreds upon hundreds of letters through the flue.” Lily Grisham (Ex-Girlfriend #1,003)

“He worked for the newspaper the Daily Mail – or as most call it, the Daily Fail – for five years. Oxford knew it was a rag that was only useful in the fact that they produce so much shit that you could fertilize your garden with it, but it had the word ‘mail’ in it, so he insisted it must be doing some good in the world. One time, they tried to make him run a story about how William and Kate were having marital problems. Something about how he wasn’t satisfying her in bed. Oxford just couldn’t go through with it. Does that mean he loves royalty more than the mail?” – Quinn Fletcher (Former Gossip Columnist at The Daily Mail)

“Oxford used to be quite poor. An urchin, if you will. It’s not easy for lads who come from orphanages; I’ll tell you that much. But Oxford had big dreams. Always has; always will. When he was seventeen, he decided he had a dream of visiting Sri Lanka. Read a book about it, I suppose. Well, a seventeen-year-old orphan can’t exactly afford a plane ticket to an island half the world away. So what does he do? He decides to mail himself to Sri Lanka. He survived the flight, though needless to say, he climbed out covered in piss and shit. The box weighed the same, but Oxford was a stone lighter.” – Camilla Dowry (Retired Flight Attendant for British Airways)


Middle English (in the sense ‘travelling bag’): from Old French male ‘wallet,’ of West Germanic origin. The notion ‘by post’ dates from the mid-17th century.


mail /meɪl/

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This Dictionary entry was curated by Sir Alexander Johns.

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