The Addictionary of Oxford English: Vampire

Posted by Sir Alexander Johns | Mar 26, 2018 | Addiction, The Addictionary of Oxford English | 0 |

Home > Oxford English > Vampire

Definition of Vampire in English:



1. (in European folklore) a corpse supposed to leave its grave at night to drink the blood of the living by biting their necks with long pointed canine teeth.

Vampire, vampire, dousing dark. In the forest of the park. What immortal hand or fang could arrest thy fearful hunger pang?” Oxford English, who sometimes fancies himself a bloody poet

Vampire Quotes about Oxford English

“No one really knows where Oxford’s obsession with vampires came from. Perhaps he watched Nosferatu and Bella Lugosi movies too much as a child. Whatever the reason, he loves the creatures of the night, and will consume any piece of media about them. Besides, me looking buff in my shirt, maybe that’s why we hit it off. Anne Rice novels. Twilight. The Vampire Diaries. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. If it’s got vampires, he’s on it. He was first in line for the first Twilight movie. He barely seemed bothered by the hundreds of screaming girls behind him. In fact, he was screaming right along with them.” – John Harrison (Dracula Impersonator and Occasional Lover)

“There are actually people with a certain… pathology… who believe themselves to be vampires. There’s a group of them in New Orleans. They ask people to donate blood to them. Call them their hosts. And they drink their blood! Google it; I know it sounds mad, but it’s true! When Oxford found out about this, he bought the first ticket to New Orleans he could find and started donating his A-negative to these nutters. They told him if he gave them enough, they’d turn him. Well, he gave so much that he nearly kicked it. He was in hospital for two weeks. And he’s still a damned mortal, so a fat lot of good that did him.” Eric Chaffer (Friend? #3)

“Sometimes Oxford is obsessed with being a vampire, and sometimes he’s obsessed with hunting them. That bout in New Orleans really did a number on him, methinks. He went to Romania with his friend, Oliver Higgins. Those two bampots thought they could stake an ancient creature like they were Van Helsing. I heard they got bitten by a bat and had to get rabies shots, but that’s about it.” Diana English (Ex-Wife #5 and #7)

“A bat? Is that what she told you? That woman is nothing but trouble! She’ll never understand the dedication it takes to hunt these deadly creatures of the night. It wasn’t a feckin’ bat! It was a powerful, three-hundred-year-old vampire by the name of Nikolai Vasile. He only turned into a bat after Oxford shot him with a crossbow!” – Oliver Higgins (Self-Proclaimed Vampire Hunter)

“It was a bat. They brought it in for testing. I gave them rabies shots. Vampires aren’t real, you silly human. Now look into my eyes… It was a bat… A bat…” This was on my audio recording from my trip to Romania, but I’ve no recollection of this interview or conversation. (I assume I had too much prosecco with dinner the night before.)


Mid-18th century: from French, from Hungarian vampir, perhaps from Turkish uber ‘witch’.


vampire /ˈvampʌɪə/

Want to read more of Oxford English’s Addictions? CLICK HERE.

If you or a loved one you know has an Addiction problem, whether it be drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex or any other addiction under the sun like our friend Oxford English, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.

This Dictionary entry was curated by Sir Alexander Johns.

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.