Am I An Enabler In A Codependent Relationship?

Posted by Judge Mental Jones | Nov 20, 2018 | Judge Mental Jones, Relationships | 0 |

Dear Judge Mental Jones,

My boyfriend has suffered from depression since I met him a year ago and it makes him a great artist. But lately, I feel guilty being happy or optimistic around him. He always finds the negative in any good news that I share, so I’ve found myself keeping things from him so that he doesn’t poke holes in my happiness. I feel like I’m lying to him to protect him all the time. His depression does help him with his art and his mystery though. Due to his depression, I have been supporting him financially since he quit his job at an ad agency so he could pursue his art a year ago. I really can’t afford to float us two anymore, especially because his paint and canvas’ cost a fortune. How can I be happy and supportive?

Dear Supportive But Possibly Stupid,

Well it sounds like you’ve got the supportive part down. But happy? Girl. Misery fucking loves company and you are that company. Many a fuckboy has claimed that their mental health fuels their creativity – but even most of THEM kept their paying jobs, or popped a pill to get sane! THE PILL POPPING IS NOT ADVICE!

There are some people in this world that are happy, when they’re unhappy. I’m the biggest mental health advocate this side of the Rust Belt, but there is the possibility that you’re being taken for a ride by a master manipulator. Have you looked at the tell tale signs of being a socio or psychopath on the internet? You better go look that shit up now as you be in for a world of hurt. GO LOOK NOW! I’ll wait.

All of a sudden you’re walking on eggshells….hun, you’re so co-dependent and you don’t even know it! Hello! Is this a pattern for you? If he has mental health issues or not, you’ve found yourself in an unhealthy relationship where you’re letting his needs trump yours. Please go buy the book Codependent No More and start taking care of yourself first. You need a solid education in being selfish and protecting yourself. Your moods matter too, so you better read the book or I’ll be super pissed and you don’t want to get me pissed. Bad shit happens when I get pissed. 

Now let me be a massive bitch and give you the verbal abuse that everyone wants to read…. Go tell this loser to stop romanticizing his anguish and go get a fucking job/therapist/pills so he can start CONTRIBUTING to you AND society as a whole. You’re not his mother! You don’t need to be financing and supporting an art student. Hell – even mother’s don’t do that! Girl, you’re an enabler. And that’s all I have to say about that. I feel for you, but let’s wake up from your dream world. K?

xo Judge Mental Jones

If you or a loved one you know battles with any Mental Health Issues, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.

This post was created with the help of Grammarly.


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