I’m probably not dateable. I fucked up. I went on dates and fell in love with Thomas before checking his fucking Facebook Page. He only had 10 posts on Insta- I should’ve dug deeper. Rookie mistake.
He kept saying things like “God’s plan” so I thought he was a fan of Drake- not an active member of religious ministries who – btw- probably don’t know he’s gay. Nevermind that he’s dating a Polar Bear! He’s a black bear. The States are funny that way. But I was like NOPE that’s my bae. That’s who I’m a be with.
Then I started looking online- at my social media presence. It’s verry sexual.
Which wouldn’t be a problem only- when I asked him for a sexy (dick) pic… he said “boy you just wait” so I waited. And it was a smiling fully clothes selfie with layers on – including a jacket. We are NOT on the same page baby bear. Listen here. So I started clicking around on all that wild deep creep shit like tagged photos. AND I AM TRIGGEREDDD.
Long story short: he graduated from PROM and his whole family posted prom pics with the kiddo and I realize that no Botox in the world will close off that age gay. He’s so smart and responsible. He told me he “appreciated me” (I almost cried) and was wearing loafers (The Dream) and I just knew he’d be my bae. He said things like “I need to settle down” and he called me loveable, and he’s the only bear I let tell me to “Chilll”(he says it in reply to receiving compliments LOL he so cute and humble)
So now I’m thinking that there are 100 factors that could deter him from the Halo Effect I’m clearly serving Diary. I’m crushed. I want to take a run at it. But that being said- he has yet to reach out to me first. I’m out here serving face and sending DM’s- and even emails! But I’m doing the most.
My energy levels have been out of control too lately. I have no way of gaging what state of mood/attitude/mind I’m in til something happens that wild or underwhelming and I’m like “OH FUCK” and then if I’m depressed I’m all like “tell no one” and if I’m manic I’m like “Facebook Live this” “send everyone a mass snapchat raising awareness”. And then my OTHER mood regrets it.
Ex. I blast out a nude to get recognition. Then I get depressed and I block everyone I sent a nude too, or break up with them. I don’t want Thomas to get involved in this whirlwind! And I’m already heavily medicated. Not sure what other resources I can pull on to be more dateable. Maybe I’ll become a CamBear.
Little Known Fact
The most popular Cambear site is Chatbearbate and was built by former Adult Video Star, Bear Naked. Bear Naked was able to leverage her star power and build a platform for all Professional Sex Bears to earn money from the comfort and safety of their own homes while providing a top quality service to their fanbase. Chatbearbate is now one of the largest Adult Bear business’ on the internet with revenues of over $100 million in 2017.
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