Earlier this year, Backstreet Boy AJ Mclean found himself back in his addiction cycle after struggling with codependency issues, but he’s now quite confident that he has his life back on track.
McLean has been battling addiction issues for many years, with stints in rehabilitation centers in 2001, 2002, and 2011. He’s admitted that he suffers from depression, and most recently, he opened up to People Magazine about his codependency issues, which was a major contributor to his last relapse.
Codependency is defined as a dysfunctional relationship where one person enables or supports another person in an excessive manner, mostly to their own detriment. Codependents seek reliance on other people for approval and a sense of identity.
McLean has admitted that his codependency issues created an internal struggle as he was putting his wife and two children ahead of his own well being, which isn’t abnormal, however, McLean took it an unhealthy level.
‘You know, it’s interesting about sobriety with family and with kids — you still have to put yourself first, and that’s been a real big struggle for me. Look, I have no shame in saying, I’ve relapsed over the past year. It’s no secret that this is a disease, and that it’s a daily struggle. Are my kids and my wife a huge support, and a huge inspiration? Yes, a hundred percent. But, at the same time the biggest problem I deal with, with them, is putting myself first, and not my family first. Because in my mind, that’s what you should do, you should put family first. You should put your kids first. But because I’m still very codependent, I’m Mr. People Pleaser — and I think a lot of that comes from being a performer, and wanting to see the crowd happy, and seeing everybody around you, and loving the attention — I want to make sure everyone’s cool. If you do that too often, then you forget about taking care of yourself, and you do tend to get lost in the sauce. And that’s happened to me numerous times.’
And because of these issues and the solid inner work McLean has accomplished, he now surrounds himself with a strong support group.
‘One of the best things I was told from my sponsor, from my friends, is the only way around is and sometimes, you’re just going to have the worst days possible. But if you surround yourself with a good support group, if you go to meetings, if you talk to other addicts… you have to make it a lifestyle, you truly do. It doesn’t mean that you can’t have fun, and can’t be yourself. But if you want to stay alive, there is no true. For me, you don’t beat it. It’s not like, okay, I’m sober, it’s done. I’ll never drink again. No. You have to work at it daily. Or it will creep up. And it’s a mother, and it will win if you don’t take care of yourself.’
If you or a loved one you know battles with Codependency, or Mental Health Issues, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.
This post was created with the help of Grammarly.
Photo Credit: Srikrishna Narasimhan