For most of my life, the Christmas season has stricken me with a feeling of dread. While many look forward to the holidays, those first Christmas displays popping up (way too early) inspire a full-on cringe in me that builds and builds till about the New Year. Of course, I don’t love the rampant consumerism and high-pressure stress associated with Xmas by many, but for me, it’s a more profound disdain that gets triggered.
For me, Yuletide tidings were when my extended family would be on their worst behavior. Of course, this was sparked by high holiday expectations and everyone gathering together under one roof. Always the most explosive family drama of the was guaranteed for this season.
Beautiful dinners loving prepared by my Grandmother, ruined by the bad behavior of people who ‘should know better.’ Adults sulking like spoiled children, casting their foul moods for everyone else to bear. And who could ever forget that one relative that can’t hold their liquor and all the fun times in store once they have that one drink too many? Nothing quite like family time to revert you to your worst self.
If I go way back, I can recall looking forward to the holidays. As a small child, I had my share of Christmas glee and lots of fond memories. It was a pretty magical time, as the first born everyone went out of their way to make it special for me.
While this will never be my favorite holiday (cause Halloween, duh), I think I can work on relinquishing my some of my resistance.
I can pull close my all my good early memories. I can help create new traditions, things that have meaning and bring me joy. I can focus on my loved ones. Now I am grown I have so much more autonomy over who I spend my time with and how that time is shared. I am consciously creating the kind of holidays to bring me happiness.
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This post was created with the help of Grammarly.