I’ve been hella estranged from my father since he left. Mom made me check in because she heard he had a fishing injury.
I brought him sushi. I’m just too modern for these hunting traditions, even though I knew he’d make fun of me for take-out. Our differences are so dramatic/traumatic. Like, he’s a Donald Tundra supporter – AND he thinks the Serbian Brown Bears “rightfully” rigged it. Very All American.
So I popped a few Ativans, grabbed some Sushi and headed over.
He was drugged up from his recent injuries and speaking freely like he was drunk. This was both good and bad. He spent most of our catching up not asking any questions about what I’ve been up to FOR YEARS. Instead, he showed me his new movie box of endless British Comedies for an hour straight. Such a Dad move. We avoided hot topics (like mom) for the first hour. Then, his new dose of pills started to pick up.
He started telling me that the cost of rent for an Igloo is so low that it has prevented the youth from buying houses. I agreed. THEN he said to RAISE THE COST of renting to “force” people into mortgages… but he doesn’t agree that minimum wage should increase. I was blinking at him trying to will him for a bathroom break so I could take one of his pills. I was getting anxiety on a handful of Ativans and clearly needed to up the dosage.
We don’t have the “I’m gonna step out and smoke weed” understanding that I do with the rest of my family. So that was fun. And he doesn’t believe in “mental health” pills (it’s a “state of mind” instead of real science). But obviously he doesn’t believe in science – or Global Warming because he’s a Tundra supporter but he fell through a goddamn glacier at Glacier National Park that had 150 glaciers and now has 25 glaciers… But where’s the proof, right!?
Eventually I began spewing out what I’ve been up to because I became agnostic to his approval- yet again. It was truly refreshing to be like “fuck it. I film weed videos on the internet and take 4 pills a day for sanity”. He’s out here popping pain killer like tic tacs telling me that weed is Satan. But Canada’s about to sell it at their Bodegas or whatever the fuck they call their Liquor Stores there. Am I too old to adopt a new Dad? (*look into this)
Every time I would finish a sentence he would say “ANYWAY” and aggressively change the topic to something he saw on CNN or Netflix. Cool cool cool.
I had to get outta there so I ordered an B’luber before telling him and said a friend was in the area to drive me home. We half hugged, no thank yous were exchanged (he lives 2 hours away).
I blame mom and her bright (manic) ideas.
If you or a loved one you know battles with Bipolar Disorder or any Mental Health Issues, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.