Bobby Jenkins: The Diary of a Bipolar Bear: The Dating Couch

Posted by Bobby Jenkins | Nov 2, 2017 | Bobby Jenkins: The Diary of a Bipolar Bear | 0 |

Harvey Wintry! What a scandal! I feel like I’ve never wanted to get into the Hollywood Scene more. I thought all these actors were working hard, memorizing hours worth of dialogue and nailing crying scenes. But they were “nailing” for roles And staying off the pole! The casting couch is real. 

I feel like most Bears are on the pole their whole lives trying to fuck for cash or a ring or a role(play) but they still wake up the next day and have to hit the pole again (and date bald fat bears..called #Zaddies). 

If I were manic it would be my PLEASURE to get a lil Kinky for a 22 Million fucking dollars. Gag them up with some mood lighting and shave me off 50 years of playing the lottery-or the pole- or the casting couch. 

After pimping myself out, I could even date a hot ass Hollywood bear with my newfound millions, and afford therapy and meds for the PTSD!! 

 Is it fair? No. But if we’re getting into the Sex Industry I never once thought about “motion pictures”. I was always so obsessed with my own sextapes. Hell, we can’t all be ArcDashians – but we can become a STAR for the same algorithm!! Plus, most of these bears are fucking for free drinks in the club these days. Not me now DIARY!! I’ve got STANDARDS! 

I think Harvey’s a total a cunt for not targeting the willing- but Donald Tundra’s brags about not needing consent to the damn MEDIA and he’s still very employed. Somehow… (And in charge of nuclear deals… so there’s that.) 

Our collective moral compasses desperately need to be re-magnetized.

I should update my Plenty of Seals bio to say #feminist so people don’t think I’m gonna Harvey Wintry them (..without a safe word, at least). #Consent

The dating (and casting couch?) landscape is so real out here. There could be Harvey’s anywhere. (remember to buy Bear Mace). 

Plus I’m depressingly single so I’m in the perfect position to accept any kind of sex. Preferably casual. Or paid. With a hot bear. With a medical weed license. Maybe without Instagram- or even a Plenty of Seals. Who totally loves me for me. 

OMG I think I want a husband?? What a break through. Getting paid for sex with a husband would make me a TROPHY WIFE. Then I’m not a Hoe!!! I’m always coming to the same concusion.

Then I could be in the Real Wives of Alaska (with Sno Palin!! I’d be a STAR!). See? Every fantasy ends the same way. Paid to Play with a safety net. Aka. Marriage. Aw I’m so wholesome.

But I’m also now acutely aware that I need a hobby. And maybe new role models.


LITTLE KNOWN FACT

Before Sno Palin was on the Real Wives of Alaska, she was the controversial Governor of Alaska and claimed that she had seen the mythical Russian Red Polar Bear right inside her home.


If you or a loved one you know battles with Bipolar Disorder or any Mental Health Issues, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.



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