July 25, 2017
I ran into Bif while I was in a RAGING text fight with Lee. So serendipitous.
It turns out that he got a huuuuge settlement from Inukpak because he went on some paid ice fishing excursion when his freak accident happened. Then while he was recovering from losing an arm, he took online courses on Crypto Currencies and made some fluke investments. Well damn did those investments ever have a return. He cashed out on an upswing and made 7 million (when he could have made 10 million if he waited! What a thing to be upset about!)
Anyway he created and set up his own goddamn crypto coin now and it’s called Bifcoin. He’s a modern day millionaire! And he even has a bionic arm now! I got a bit of a mechanical fetish just looking at it.
He asked if I was single, and of course I said that I was “just seeing someone, but it’s casual”. But that’s a LIE because I wouldn’t have invested the last day and a half using all my best come backs and one-liners on Lee.
I agreed to a coffee. But I hate coffee. But we never got serious enough for him to know that so I just said yes. I’m meeting him at the Purple Penguin next week. It’s a date! But it might not be a date.
That’s right – MY ex – the MILLIONAIRE is taking ME for coffee next week. I’m fucking important and know important people now. What an era! I can’t wait to throw this in Lee’s face. (Not that I can – unless it’s OVER!!!!! But it never seems to be “over” no matter how much I declare it is- but that’s another topic. Or is it?) I have no clear thoughts. Please, diary, please personify like Beary Potter’s shit does and start flying around offering advice with your abundant knowledge. Even a therapist would just keep asking me “why do you think that, why do you feel that way” instead of “leave his ass there’s a millionaire in your life now who is the FUTURE of currencies- YOU CAN BE THE POLARNKA TO HIS BRUMP.
Does that make me a Gold Digger? Do I care? Or am I truly just looking for anyway out- with or without millions being involved.
Thank Gahd Bif doesn’t have Insta. OH WAIT! HE PROBABLY DOES NOW THAT HE’S SO FUTURE AND TEKKIE. I’ll probably spend the rest of the day deleting couples photos from my Instagram, just to bring out the heavy arsenol. Yep, that would piss Lee off. But then again, I should probably make sure this coffee is a date before I jump the gun and ARSON my bridges.
LITTLE KNOWN FACT
Beary Potter was created by a British bear named J.K. Growling, and has since become the bear world’s highest grossing book series in history.
If you or a loved one you know battles with Bipolar Disorder or any Mental Health Issues, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.