Well that was fun. Now that I know I’ll never work a desk job again (sorry for throwing that chair at you Sheldon…), or get a work reference, or patch up those holes in my resume… I’ve decided to travel.
So I have booked me a month at an Iceberg retreat. No bondage, no plenty of seals, no clothing. I want to be au-nature-bear. I have been consumed by this Arctic mentality of striving for material and emotional success from absolute strangers on Instagram or fuckbears in real life. My family is just not the support system I need these days. I have no goals. Every time I set and achieve one I realize that “finding avocado tuna sushi” was never really a goal or a challenge..
That’s what brings me to Bif! It’s so easy to fixate on one heartbreak when there’s nothing else going on. I want to meet an exotic bear. One that can build a fire and catch a fish with his own hands.
I want to see if I can tan.
I want to see if I can meditate without being interrupted by social media notifications.
I want to see how far this last pay cheque will get me.
I need to feel alive, not attached to technology and suppressed by the amount of likes and swipes I get. No wonder I feel worthless. I’m not the cause of any of my fulfillment. I haven’t figured out how to validate myself.
Is that what these waist trainers and herbal tea models are? Enlightened? What does it take to become a waist training model anyway? I’m 478kg and counting. BBD!!! Big Bodacious Dude!
Maybe I should start a porn site. I could take a bunch of nude photos when I’m being all exotical and come back and be a cam model for bondage bears that like Big Bodacious Dudes!! Ugh. How do I get a sex tape. I suppose I need someone to be willing and consenting. Maybe Bif? No, No. The point is for me to veer AWAY from this mindset. I can’t keep reliving these patterns.
Okay, not Bif. BUT MAYBE IT COULD BE AN EXOTIC BEAR. Yes, that’s the ticket.
This is why I need to find myself. Dream bigger. Or meet someone international and hear their big dreams so I can steal them and come back with my own fancy ones. And a new aesthetic. People will think I work for National Geographic by the time I come back. HA ! Omg I will have to reintroduce myself to people.
My Name will now be Bobbé or maybe just B. TRAVEL IS THE KEY.
My tickets is booked. Is this impulsive? Let’s find out!
My thoughts are racing. I’m so excited!
What could go wrong?
Holy fuck I need work on my lewks, and I’m not telling my family till they see my first selfie on the glacier! Ouuuu I should make it my Display picture so everyone finds out at the same time. So much intrigue, so much mystery. So not predictable. I’m gonna be the Bear of the Ball out here. Move over Bif, I’ve got bigger fish to fry.
If you or a loved one you know battles with Bipolar Disorder or any Mental Health Issues, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.