Feb 7 2017
I’m in LOVE! Real life true-blooded love. So much love I’m drowning. He’s the one forever and always. Me and Lee go together like “Clubbing” and “Seals”: a legendary Arctic love. After day 3 of Manic sex (I think we’re both manic?) we won tickets to Barrow Whaling Festival for our (technically) 3rd date! We decided to camp out for 3 days and eat a shit ton of whale. More whale than any bear should eat in one sitting #Love.
We weren’t even alienated by each others death-inducing fish breath (especially in the mornings!). Sharing a hammock meant for 1 didn’t go as planned, obviously. I thought it would be romantic until the first time we got in. Then I realized I fucked up.
Luckily we each have two coats of fur and a thick layer of blubber to insulate from the cold (and a good sense of humor!) - or forgetting the tent could have been a total deal breaker. Then I realized this could break us up or make us a forever couple..
Not sure how I forgot the tent… I told him I was rushing, but obviously I was packed up like 5 days in advance coz I ran out of things to do - other than search all of his tagged friends on instagram for context when he shares stories. Like “My aunt Susan and I…” *ah yes, I would think to myself, the one with the twin sister and three girls. Her hair was better red.
*Like any normal Bear would, really*
And now we’re home! And probably a forever couple! Driving back was pretty silent but we kept smiling at each other the whole time and the view was deadly. My heart fuxking stopped when we held paws.
At one point when his phone died and he said “what’s your phone password” I realized “Holy shit I should have deleted Plenty of Seals. But there was no reception (YAY) so he took over my snapchat and started uploading like 72 videos of us having a grand time and him kissing on me, which I uploaded every single one. once I got to wifi. Like “BEHOLD BITCHES- THIS IS REAL! THIS IS HAPPENING! BOBBY IS IN LOVE! MOVE OVER PEASANTS I’VE ARRIVED” #CoupleGoals #FuckYou
We kissed goodbye and I knew he’d need a few days away from this big lug. Or big love bug- at this point. BUT NO! SECONDS later, once I was in the door, He was like “Netflix and Chill?” and I was <INSERT HEART EYES SWEATY PAWS POUNDING CHEST BIG GULP> and then I responded “Do you even have Netflix?” He sent an eye roll and a “doesn’t everyone?” And THAT’S when I knew that he didn’t have Plenty of Seals.
I was there by 7pm with a bucket of sushi.
3 days later- his work alarm reminded me that there is a reality. I had just checked out of it in the name of LOVE !
Little Known Fact:
Plenty of Seals has revealed 4 things about gay bears that you previously might not have known.
1. Gay bears invented the selfie.
2. From Chicago to Australia to the Arctic. Gay bears are everywhere.
3. More bear couples than you think are in open relationships.
4. Masculine means different things to different bears.
This post was created with the help of Grammarly.