Nothing happened today.
N O T H I N G
I got a latte and no one spoke to me at the creamer station.
I went to the dog park, and no dogs sniffed me.
I went to the gym and all of the machines had been wiped down like a pole at a strip club.
Anyway, it’s probably just the effect of Ativan. Even the library had the book I was looking for. “Bondage for Dummies”. And the Librarian didn’t even scoff! Are we all on Ativan? Is it the opposite of a full moon? Or have I lost my zest for life.
I felt invisible to the 2 hot bears I walked by today. Must be straight.
I’m dying my hair pink and I’m getting my dick pierced. I will court attention at all costs because I can’t afford to walk by this many prospects in a day unnoticed. I need a Brad to my Angelina. 8 kids and a love that will always last. The Dream.
Today, I will drink 2 litres of water and buy a highlight and start working on investing in my self. I hear it all the time on Daytime Talk Shows but those 60 year olds that look 20 never really resonated with me. I’m not in the tax bracket to take their advice.
Talk show host: Use sun screen!!
Talk show host: Try the Kylie lip kit!
Talk show host: Use Argan Oil!
Anyway, I’m going to buy Spanx on Amazon. At least I know they work, thanks to the Arcdashians.