Bobby Jenkins: The Diary of a Bipolar Bear | Unknown Date as I Got Drunk

Posted by Bobby Jenkins | May 1, 2017 | Bobby Jenkins: The Diary of a Bipolar Bear | 0 |

diary of a bipolar beardiary of a bipolar bearDearest Diary,

Nothing happened today.

N O T H I N G

I got a latte and no one spoke to me at the creamer station.

I went to the dog park, and no dogs sniffed me.

I went to the gym and all of the machines had been wiped down like a pole at a strip club.

Anyway, it’s probably just the effect of Ativan. Even the library had the book I was looking for. “Bondage for Dummies”. And the Librarian didn’t even scoff! Are we all on Ativan? Is it the opposite of a full moon? Or have I lost my zest for life.

I felt invisible to the 2 hot bears I walked by today. Must be straight.

I’m dying my hair pink and I’m getting my dick pierced. I will court attention at all costs because I can’t afford to walk by this many prospects in a day unnoticed. I need a Brad to my Angelina. 8 kids and a love that will always last. The Dream.

Today, I will drink 2 litres of water and buy a highlight and start working on investing in my self. I hear it all the time on Daytime Talk Shows but those 60 year olds  that look 20 never really resonated with me. I’m not in the tax bracket to take their advice.

Talk show host: Use sun screen!!

Translation: Botox.

Talk show host: Try the Kylie lip kit!

Translation: Filler

Talk show host: Use Argan Oil!

Translation: Weave

Anyway, I’m going to buy Spanx on Amazon. At least I know they work, thanks to the Arcdashians.


About The Author

Bobby Jenkins

Bobby Jenkins is a lovely polar bear who battles Bipolar Disorder and has the style of a BEAR in the gay community. He was raised by a single mother, who doesn't understand him, and has two seemingly perfect sisters too. He attended one year of Undergrad at the Arctic College of Art and Design with a Major in Fashion Studies and a Minor in Nude Life Drawing. However, due to an unfortunate manic event, involving a Professor, two seals, and a very fishy salmon, Bobby was asked to take an indefinite leave of absence. Since then, Bobby has worked odd jobs to support his life of clubbing, frustration, and obsessing over really hot bears. His dream is to leave the Arctic behind and move to the bright lights of Chicago where the coolest bears and cubs from around the world work hard and play even harder.

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