I’m on the detox from hell. I went from an eight-drink pack-a-day bender to a Fruit Smoothie Lethargy.
Sobriety is so terribly boring. I need a pass time. Or a dog..
….. BACK FROM A WALK OMG
I bought a Samoyed puppy! So small and fluffy! Even though I wanted an Arctic Monkey – and was shocked to find out it’s band’s name. (Remember to check out their t-shirts online!)
I shall name him Indica, my little mood-enhancing homie. I will love him forever. Or her. And petting him makes me so mellow. I was in such a rush that I forgot to buy food (we can share my scraps!).
I neeeeeed Indica to step my Instagram up and get more likes so that I can become an influencer. I need to make this investment back on this dog. Indica was not cheap. But spontaneity has always been my calling card.
I also need him/her/them to help me pick up guys, coz fuck Grindr. So I’m soo fucking excited to go to the dog park after our #PuppyAndMe photoshoot.
THIS FUCKING DOG PISSED ON MY BED! I HAVE NO BACKUP SHEETS! I DON’T EVEN WANT THIS DOG!!!! MY WHOLE ROOM SMELLS LIKE PISS! JAYSUS!!!! THERE’S SHIT IN THE BATHROOM?!?! I’M RETURNING THIS FUCKING DOG TODAY!!! I’M NOT READY TO BE A PARENT. I’M ONLY FOUR DAMMIT!! #BitchByeeee