It seems like it was yesterday, when someone I briefly dated, accused me of staring at her best friends breasts when talking to her. I was also told that I wasn’t paying enough attention to her that day either, and that was followed the next day, by a text that said she no longer wanted to date me. I was quite confused by the whole thing as it seemed like a whirlwind of drama that was created out of thin air. And since that day, based on an old friend opening up about their own issues, I’ve now learned this is called a Borderline Personality Relationship Cycle.
I didn’t feel guilt or shame based on the accusations hurled toward me on those days, as nothing was further than the truth in my mind. In my reality and truth, I was being attacked for no reason whatsoever, and I was not a fan of the tone in any way, shape, or form. I could only think if that’s how I was being treated when we were new to each other, who knows how bad it would be in the future? I knew I did nothing wrong. I knew where my eyes were looking. And I had an intuitive feeling that trying to convince her otherwise was something she wanted me to do. It felt like she wanted me to fight for her, to help keep our brief dating life alive, and it all felt very textbook, even though I was confused about it at the same time. It was like I was seeing through the fog and it was clear on the other side. I remember showing the text to a friend the next day, and saying that I think she created this scenario like a test, to prove that I wouldn’t abandon her and to show her the affection that she wants or needs. It was like my dedication to her was being tested, but at my age and relationship experience, I just wasn’t falling for it.
Now, fast forward to the other day, via social media, when one of her updates popped up on my Facebook, saying that she’s been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, I wasn’t surprised at all. In fact, I was quite happy that she got diagnosed and will get the help she needs to live a more content, less drama filled life. And in response to this, I wrote a bad poem from her perspective about what it must be like to have Borderline Personality Disorder and the cycles you go through when dating…..with a little bit of a twist of course.
If you or a loved one you know is showing signs of a Mental Health Disorder, whether it be Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar, Scizophrenia, Addiction, Body Dysmorphia etc., or maybe you just need someone to talk to, please do get the help you need. If you feel like you need to talk to someone right now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.
Want to read another BAD POEM? CLICK HERE!