Canada Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: I Already Hate Myself So Please Don’t Trigger Me

Posted by Paul Smith | May 31, 2018 | Canada Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD | 0 |

I was staying at one of my favorite establishments, the Regina Econolodge, while on the road in Saskatchewan when I, unfortunately, got triggered a couple of times, and I caused quite the scene in the hotel lobby.

Let me reiterate that I love the Econolodge and I’ve been happily staying there for all my years as a traveling salesman across the beautiful country I call home, Canada. I have excellent relationships with all the staff past and present, but on this day, the new night manager of the property and I didn’t mix very well. So if you’re reading this, and you’re from the Econolodge, I love you guys, just not Dale.

I’ll do my best to make this long story short. So on the night in question, I was sleeping like usual, tossing and turning, but eventually, I was able to get into a good groove and might have actually been in a deep slumber for 3 hours straight, which is a miracle for me. And that’s when the fire alarm went off and triggered my PTSD. I woke up kinda disoriented with the alarm blazing, and it brought back a whole flood of bad memories for me, and I started freaking out a bit.

I hurried to the front desk of the hotel, where I met the Night Manager, Dale, for my very first time and I was acting pretty off, and I was begging him to do something about the alarm. I guess I was also acting a little bit fidgety too. I think, maybe he thought I was on some kind of drugs, but I was just really anxious and needed the alarm to stop. I should have just gone outside and waited it out, and I was actually about to do so. I really was! I was turning my body to leave, and that’s when Dale went ballistic on me.

Instead of politely talking to me, and suggesting I wait outside until it’s clear, Dale started yelling at me and calling me crazy in front of everyone. He was saying that I was scaring people and making matters worse. And with his raised accusing voice, THAT was trigger number two.

At this point, my anxiety went into overdrive, and I start crying and sobbing uncontrollably. Dale’s voice raising really hit me where it hurt, and my river of tears began flowing. Dale looked at me like I was crazy, which didn’t help much, but thankfully, my favorite daytime manager, Janine, had just shown up and got in between us. She talked to me in a kind voice and asked if she could accompany me outside.

Janine made sure I was doing okay and listened to my story, which I was thankful for. I stayed outside long after the alarm stopped just to make sure going inside felt safe to me. Eventually, I tiptoed my way in, packed up my stuff, and then hit the road again as soon as possible to try and get the anxious scene as far away from me as possible.

A few days later I received a voicemail from Janine, apologizing once again and to also let me know that the Econolodge had let Dale go. I kind of felt bad about this as Dale was just trying to make a living just like me, so I sent this postcard in hopes to clear things up.

If you or a loved one is battling PTSD or CPTSD, please do get help if you’re not getting any right now. If you need to talk to anyone right away, our friends at Better Help are here for you by just CLICKING HERE.

This post was created with the help of Grammarly.


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