Bad Poetry

Codependent Self Intervention Poem

When you’re a codependent person, your low self-esteem makes you feel like your many failed relationship attempts are something you deserve in life. However, if you really want to do the work, and are fed up with not being your own number one...

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My PTSD Has Short Term Memory Loss

A few weeks ago, I was out with a new friend, and eventually, we ended up at a loud bar. It was an overcrowded club with sonic booms, people looking you up and down, and never-ending flashing lights. The only reason I was affected by it was because...

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Golden Girls For Being My Friends

Sadly, this week’s edition of Bad Poetry is about judgment. A topic we all know too well. Being judged for the way you look is part of life in the western world. The next generation of children won’t know any other way, and it seems to...

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Am I Depressed Or Just Lazy?

I love discussing the question ‘Am I Depressed Or Just Lazy?’ It’s a hit at parties to get past all of the superficial chit-chats. I also love it because it’s a question I’ve asked myself on more than one occasion and...

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I Feel Like My Life Is Falling Apart

If the words ‘I Feel Like My Life Is Falling Apart’ is currently making unwanted appearances in your head or coming out of your mouth, you’re most likely dealing with anxiety and possibly depression. And if this is your current...

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Thanks Mike Pence

Stigma, LGBT Rights, Depression, and Female Rights. We’ve got many things covered in this week’s edition of Bad Poetry. It’s 2018 and there are still old white men that think you can be turned un-gay and want to send you to a...

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Wrestling With Bipolar Disorder

With the recent proclamation by Kanye West that Bipolar Disorder is his superpower, we here at Massive Phobia wanted to bring the rest of the public back down to earth from what we consider an irresponsible statement. For every Kanye West, three...

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We All Die Someday

Death, the final frontier. To boldly go where all of the dinosaurs have gone before. Unless you consider crocodiles to be dinosaurs of sorts, then we’ll just say most of the dinosaurs. But like our reptilian predecessors, all of us humans...

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Everyone’s Going To Think I’m Stupid

Do you battle ADHD? Have you ever had all these amazing plans, then told everyone about them, so there were all these enormous expectations, and then nothing about your plans were ever accomplished because you got in your own way? And then felt...

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Ode To Anorexia

I haven’t been around Massive Phobia for awhile because I’ve been so busy with school and volleyball, and volleyball is life, so sometimes things fall by the wayside based on my religious priorities. Squad being my religion of choice of...

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The Bench Warmer

This bad poem was inspired by observing a busy bar during this latest NHL season for one of the final games. I recalled a quote from a friend, she said“hockey sounds like neglect.” Ouch! I can still remember the sting in her words, and while that...

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Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired | Day 1

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired After living in my house for 8 years, I felt I needed a change of scenery as my life just wasn’t headed in the right direction.  It was the first and only house that I’ve ever owned and I was never...

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Phobia List

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z A Ablutophobia – Fear of Washing or Bathing. Acarophobia – Fear of Itching or of the Insects That Cause Itching. Acerophobia – Fear of Sourness. Achluophobia – Fear of Darkness. Acousticophobia – Fear of Noise....

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Top Ten Phobias of Tobias Funke

If there were a list ranking the most maladjusted fictional characters in history, Tobias Funke would easily make the top three. We hold this Arrested Development fan favorite close to our hearts because of his oblivious comments, his outrageous...

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