Judge Mental Jones

Do I Have Toxic Parents Or Is It Me?

Dear Judge Mental Jones, My parents know I have anxiety, and they got a dog, which they know gives me anxiety, what should I do? Dear Anxiety Dog,  First of all, your parents are dicks. Huge dicks! Not just for getting the dog, but for not letting...

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Erase Your Social Media

Dear Judge Mental Jones, I’m having Posting Paranoia!! Every time I go to post a photo online I run through so many obstacles in my head. Does it match my previous posts? Should I go bright or moody? How many likes before I feel comfortable keeping...

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Xanax For Social Anxiety And In-Laws

Dear Judge Mental Jones, I have social anxiety and my fiancé keeps signing me up for his extravagant family and work activities, like week long Cottage trips and destination weddings (where I know no one but him). His friends hate me because I...

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What Can I Do About My Son’s Erratic Behavior? 

Dear Judge Mental Jones, My step-son is out of control. He used to be a good kid with straight A’s and a ballet dancer. Since “leaving” ballet class (we suspect he was thrown out) he hasn’t been eating. He fainted at the grocery store the other day...

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Am I Enabling My Brother’s Gambling Addiction?

Dear Judge Mental Jones, My brother called me from inpatient Gambling Rehabilitation and asked me to make all of his fantasy baseball transactions, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want him to be angry at me, and I don’t want to get him in...

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My Dad Won’t Attend My Gay Wedding

Dear Judge Mental Jones, I have about 3 months until my wedding(lesbian wedding), and I was looking forward to it until my dad informed me that he won’t be attending due to religious reasons. Even though he accepts me, I had a strange feeling...

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Did My Family Give Me A Social Phobia?

Dear Judge Mental Jones, I’ve been afraid to approach women my whole life and now I’m 40 and I’ve only had two girlfriends ever. I can’t get over the nervousness and I’m afraid of being humiliated. To make matters worse, my...

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Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired After living in my house for 8 years, I felt I needed a change of scenery as my life just wasn’t headed in the right direction.  It was the first and only house that I’ve ever owned and I was never...

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Top Ten Phobias of Tobias Funke

If there were a list ranking the most maladjusted fictional characters in history, Tobias Funke would easily make the top three. We hold this Arrested Development fan favorite close to our hearts because of his oblivious comments, his outrageous...

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Top Ten Phobias of Michael Myers

I know what you’re going to say, how can a ‘Superhuman’ who is arguably one of the scariest and most dreaded characters of all time have fears? Well, you don’t become a stone cold killer if something didn’t upset you or set you off, so...

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