Fake News

The Hypocrisy Of Penis Shaming

At our office morning meeting, my employers asked for volunteers to write about the hypocrisy of penis shaming due to the recent attacks on President Trump and the size of his tiny penis, according to his former conquest, Stormy Daniels. I usually...

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Stupid Teacher Brings Child With ADHD To Tears

An unnamed teacher from Plainfield Central School in Connecticut is currently the target of internet shaming for reducing a 12-year-old boy with ADHD to tears. She is most commonly being referred to as ‘Stupid’ after giving the innocent...

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The Unauthorized Deathbed Letter of Forrest Gump

We here at Massive Phobia have obtained the Unauthorized Deathbed Letter of Forrest Gump, and we felt the need to share it due to its simple message from a very simple but beautiful man. Hopefully, all of us can learn to be simple too. Below is the...

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Winternet Addiction Disorder

A particularly nasty nor’easter pommeled the East Coast last month, leaving an estimated 1.4 million people without power. Heavy flooding, high winds, and accumulations of up to two feet of snow sent residents from Maine to South Carolina into a...

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Instagram Compensation Disorder

Who wouldn’t want to be Instagram famous? You’ve seen the luxurious lives that social media influencers lead. Flying all over the world. Relaxing at five-star resorts. Sipping three-hundred dollar bottles of wine on a Sicilian balcony. It’s the...

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Spring Breakdown Anxiety

Cancun. Key West. Punta Cana. Nassau. These places have a lot in common. Miles of white sand beaches and warm ocean waters. More bars than you can count. And most importantly, a tropical climate with endless hot, sunny days. While the rest of us...

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Trump Doppelganger Haranguer

Are you ready for the Twitter Feud of the week? In one corner, a successful, charismatic TV star who played a fantastic businessman. In the other, Donald Trump. The fight started when Baldwin gave an interview to the Hollywood Reporter and...

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Facebook’s Venus Envy Anxiety

Facebook sparked a site-wide controversy recently when it decided to censor a picture of the ancient Venus of Willendorf statue, a nearly 30,000-year-old prehistoric masterpiece widely considered to be one of the most important artifacts of its...

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Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired | Day 1

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired After living in my house for 8 years, I felt I needed a change of scenery as my life just wasn’t headed in the right direction.  It was the first and only house that I’ve ever owned and I was never...

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Top Ten Phobias of Michael Myers

I know what you’re going to say, how can a ‘Superhuman’ who is arguably one of the scariest and most dreaded characters of all time have fears? Well, you don’t become a stone cold killer if something didn’t upset you or set you off, so...

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Top Ten Phobias of Tobias Funke

If there were a list ranking the most maladjusted fictional characters in history, Tobias Funke would easily make the top three. We hold this Arrested Development fan favorite close to our hearts because of his oblivious comments, his outrageous...

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