Identity

Mental Health Roulette In The Game Of Life

March 5, 2016 Dear Diary, SUCH a terrifying day. When Dad reached out and said he needed to talk, I felt like he dropped an atomic bomb on my mood. Like, no. We are estranged for a reason. I don’t even have you on Facebook, like, you can’t randomly...

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Is Homer’s Phobia The Best Simpsons Episode Ever?

You can ask a hundred fans of The Simpsons about what their Top Ten Favorite Episodes Of All Time are, and you’ll get one hundred different answers. From Lemon of Troy to 22 Shorts Stories About Springfield, to Cape Feare, and even to Mr....

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More Trauma At The Funeral

Sept. 2, 2016 Dearest Diary, Ativan! The love of my life I have found you!  Omg fuck my family – I have a superpower now! I will never let you go my magical little chill pill of love.  I had assumed that I would be traumatized by my aunt...

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My Dad’s Homophobic And I’m Scared To Come Out

Dear Judge Mental Jones, My dad doesn’t know I’m gay, because I haven’t told him since he’s homophobic. I have been with my girlfriend for 1 year, and I have avoided every family event and holiday as a result because MY GIRLFRIEND doesn’t...

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Am I A Gold Digger?

July 25, 2017 Dearest Diary, I ran into Bif while I was in a RAGING text fight with Lee. So serendipitous.  It turns out that he got a huuuuge settlement from Inukpak because he went on some paid ice fishing excursion when his freak accident...

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When The Person You’re Dating Isn’t Over Their Ex

February 14th 2017 THIS COCK SUCKING PRICK HAS PLENTY OF SEALS. So Misleading – I’m in disbelief. What a charmer! How DARE he show up in my potential matches after our romantic getaway to the North. I saw a notification go off on his phone...

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Facebook Triggers & Sam James Coffee

Sept 15/17 Dear Diary,  Ah, tagged pics. It’s like a graveyard of pics I wouldn’t upload myself and exes I forgot I still had on Facebook. Speaking of exes on Facebook.. guess what DIARY! I late-night creeped Lee and found a photo of him and his...

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I’m On A Detox From Hell

Dearest Diary, I’m on the detox from hell. I went from an eight-drink pack-a-day bender to a Fruit Smoothie Lethargy.   Sobriety is so terribly boring. I need a pass time. Or a dog..  ….. BACK FROM A WALK OMG  I bought a Samoyed puppy! So small and...

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Fuck Therapy And Everyone Else Telling Me What To Do

Dear Diary,  My first therapy session was today, and it was a real treat. I’m still living in the aftermath of broken relationships, dramatic breakdowns, and short-term jobs. I’m only beginning to realize that maybe (just maybe?)...

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My Sisters Trigger Me Out

August 6, 2014 Dear Diary,  WTF. I’m never gonna get out of bed. Neverrrrr. Fuck inspiration. I’ll probably be fat forever anyway. I love McDonald’s Fish Filet more than I myself. Unfollowing every health blog on my Insta didn’t even help. I...

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Bipolar Love Obsession

Dear Diary, Fucking Javier. I’m probably in love with him. I over analyze every little thing he does. He can change my mood- dramatically- in either direction. I always want him to stay (but he always goes).  For 8 year now we’ve had a pattern of...

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Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired | Day 1

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired After living in my house for 8 years, I felt I needed a change of scenery as my life just wasn’t headed in the right direction.  It was the first and only house that I’ve ever owned and I was never...

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The Narcissist Combat Handbook | Introduction

It was a mild July day in the year of 1978 as my pregnant mother was about to pop me out in the back of a yellow taxi cab, all by her lonesome. I was about to be her third child but the first to nearly be born amongst the sweet scent of pine tree...

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Top Ten Phobias of Michael Myers

I know what you’re going to say, how can a ‘Superhuman’ who is arguably one of the scariest and most dreaded characters of all time have fears? Well, you don’t become a stone cold killer if something didn’t upset you or set you off, so...

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