Do I Have Bipolar Disorder?
Myself and others have been slowly building this website into something we strongly believe in and part of that belief is being authentic. We’re hard at work creating interesting and fun ways to present mental health issues with our tongue firmly in our cheeks. However, in pursuit of help and authenticity, we’ve gone to the depths of the internet to find writers that suit our ideology. Easier said than done…..but that’s another story.
Last week, I posted a help wanted ad looking for a comedic writer that was part of the LGBT community and also had bipolar disorder. After receiving interest from many folks who obviously didn’t read the requirements I asked for, there were finally a few people who met our needs. After some quick back and forth’s with them, I settled on only meeting one of them. She asked the right questions and seemed to just get what we were doing right off the bat. So we set up an in person follow up meeting for the next day.
In this meeting, we got know each other, but at the same time, while I listened to how she was finally diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I couldn’t help but wonder if I had it as well, as an old friend planted the seed in my head in last year. I asked (spoiler alert) our new employee some questions and she could see I was searching. She asked me some questions about my mental states and then said with her keen eyes, here’s the number to my psychiatrist. I couldn’t help but smile at the intuitiveness.
On my way home that day, I picked up the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition: DSM-5 and flipped to the section on Bipolar Disorder. I perused it or combed it over, as some would say. Being honest with myself as I read over every point, I concluded that there’s a probable chance that I may in fact be Bipolar. It didn’t make me upset in any way. It was the exact opposite. I was intrigued. I was curious. I started to wonder how my life might be improved if I indeed have this disorder. If I took medication and was more even keel, maybe certain doubts would disappear? Maybe I wouldn’t need to build myself up anymore…….because I’d just be. It actually brought a sense of relief over me. I guess I exhaust myself sometimes.
I didn’t want to be curious anymore. I wanted to know. So I picked up the phone and made an appointment. This may be the first step into a more relaxed life.
I’ll tell you how it goes next week 🙂