Dear Judge Mental Jones,
My best friend is a violent drunk, but I love him to death. He has made countless promises to seek help but he has never taken a step toward it. It’s affecting his job and relationship and even straining our friendship. I don’t want to see him hurt but I also don’t want to enable him. Any advice would be great!
Dear I Don’t Want to Enable my Alcoholic Friend Anymore,
Violent drunks……UGH! Where do I begin? This will involve discipline on your end if you really don’t want to enable him. You can’t be setting the stage for this intemperate brute without his co-sign, so either he signs up to be a better fucking human or you sign off on inviting him out. Try going to an AA meeting with him. Set boundaries, and invite him to places he can stay sober (like a games night at home, or a hike). Inspect his bags like a fucking rehab when you chill.
Be there for him, but just know that it’s up to him if it’s “Worth” making the change- and you can’t help this drunken bar star unless he says it is. Unless he wants to remain ungovernable and risk his health, freedom, relationships, etc.
If no one else in his family or friend group is doing anything, maybe it’s time to coordinate an intervention. I’ve been part of a few. They may not be the happiest of group outings, but they work. Well, at least in my experience they have.
If your friend doesn’t agree to stop or go to rehab, then you’ve done all you can and can rest as easy as you can. Try not to worry, even though that’s not easy either.
xo Judge Mental Jones
If you or a loved one you know battles with any Mental Health Issues, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.
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