Hey, Everyone! It’s me, Ellis! I had a day I tell you. I sure did. I don’t know how it happened, but I was parking my car near my therapist’s office, and when I got out, some man started yelling at me for stealing his parking spot which made me feel crummy, and the weirdest part was that he had no car.
I’m sure you’re also wondering how I drive without legs or arms, and maybe that should be the weirdest part of the story? But I want to fit in on Earth, so I sit in a car that attaches to my electromagnetic field, and when I hover, the car just comes along with me. Not much rocket science. Just regular science.
Anywho, back to the crummy thing that happened. This man was yelling at me, and I hadn’t done anything wrong at all. But instead of yelling back or standing my ground, I just wanted it to end. I don’t like confrontation. I really felt like an average Enneagram Type 9, The Peacemaker. You know the Enneagram? If not, you should check it out. Unlike anyone else, I’m every type. Don’t ask; it just won’t make sense. But you should read up cause I really do swear by it all.
I didn’t like how this man was raising his arms and waving them at me. I didn’t like his crummy t-shirt that said ‘Trump Country’ on it too. I didn’t like anything about being yelled at all, even though I shouldn’t have been yelled at in the first place! So I did the only logical thing your average Type 9 would do, I apologized, got back into my car and found a new parking spot.
I knew while floating in my car that this crummy feeling had me on level 6 of my Enneagram health chart. I know these things off by heart because when I got to earth, and didn’t have any friends yet, I had all the time in the galaxy to read. Anywho, when average Type 9’s are at this level, we apologize for things and avoid conflicts as much as possible. It’s like being a C student. You pass, but it’s not like you’re gonna tell your floating red circle parents about it right when you get home. It’s like being average, which for me, is actually better than the alternative a lot of the time. Kinda crummy, I know, but not the crummiest.
Actually, the crummiest thing ever happened next. I got out of the car, and again, the same guy is doing all the same yelling and arm waving at me like before and telling me to get out of his spot. He really must have been having a bad, or maybe he’s allergic to cuteness or maybe he was being speciesist towards me because of the planet I came from. However, I didn’t want to find out which one was the actual answer. If he were allergic to cuteness, then I wouldn’t want him to end up in the hospital. I’d just feel real crummy about that. Like I was big crumb bum, or worse, a Crummy Deville. And if he wasn’t, then I also didn’t want to be around because then I wouldn’t feel safe around someone who felt I should be deported back to my world, even though I’m a legal alien in this country.
So as an average functioning Type 9 would do, I opened the car door and floated away as fast as I could, and prayed that the guy wouldn’t be there once my therapist appointment was over. And thank the Milky Ways, that I was going to my therapists because I obviously still have a lot of issues to work out. Like my fear of loss, or why I always try and see a silver lining in things even though there isn’t one and I’m most likely just lying to myself, or how I feel I’m no one special, or how I disassociate from anger as a false coping mechanism, or how I go numb to myself to keep things harmonious. Oh my, I’m just going on and on here, but at least I’m aware of this stuff, even though they’re crummy. Anywho, that’s the best part of the Enneagram though. It gives me a map to find my wholeness so that I can integrate and grow. Then I might not feel as crummy sometimes. Oh, the life of The Peacemaker.
Anyway, I hope you had a better day than I did.
To buy the coolest Enneagram shirt for you Type 9’s out there, CLICK HERE.
To Purchase a copy of The Wisdom of the Enneagram: The Complete Guide to Psychological and Spiritual Growth for the Nine Personality Types just click on the title.
This post was created with the help of Grammarly.