Hey, Everyone! It’s me, Ellis! I haven’t written anything in awhile because I’ve been busy making stuff. I was told that people liked reading positive things with my picture on them, so that’s what I’ve been doing.
And then I got all nervous and stuff and started feeling crummy because I just didn’t know if what I was doing was the right thing to do. I guess I didn’t know what was up and what was down. Does that ever happen to you?
When I came to earth, of all my fears and phobias (which are pretty much infinite, as I’m kinda scared of everything as crummy as that is), the biggest issue I have is Trust.
All of my infinite fears all stem from that one issue if you really want to boil it down. And it’s not about trusting others, as sometimes I do trust others too much, and it gets me in heaps of trouble, but it’s all about trusting myself.
Trusting yourself is soooooooo hard! The weird thing is that everyone calls me the most trustworthy alien they know. How ironic and crummy is that? To be the most trustworthy to others but the least trustful to yourself? I’m sure I’m not alone on this one.
My therapist says that I learned to not trust myself when I was a kid. And I quote “Ellis you have been given problematic tools for coping with feelings that were handed down from your parents and by all elders from your planet. You’ve been told you’re usefulness was only to be a laborer and a wonderful laborer you became. However, everything outside of that comfort zone that you dreamed of breaking out from suffered. You were given inadequate, unempathetic and hurtful responses to your developing self over the years and your lack of trust in yourself is now the result.”
My therapist is a good listener and makes me feel like I’m heard and understood. I had a crumb-bum of a therapist before this new one and I never really felt safe and taken care of. But my new one says that it’s all about practice and baby steps. That’s the way we’re going to get me to trust myself for pretty much the very first time.
My therapist says, when you learn how to drive a car, you just don’t get into a car and drive. You take lessons first, and you practice a lot. You get a lot of verbal instruction as well – “pull up closer to the stop sign, start breaking farther back, don’t brake on wet pavement, etc.” And over time you gradually become a better driver until everything becomes instinctual.
So baby steps and practice it is.
However, on the way to everything becoming instinctual, during your baby steps and practice, you may feel like you lost your way because something crummy may have triggered you as it did with me, like when I didn’t know if what I was creating for this website was the right thing to do. So just try and remember this mantra that I read on the internet by someone famous that I can’t recall. I crafted it just for you and me.
If you or a loved one you know battles with Trust, Self Esteem, Anxiety, Depression or any other Mental Health Issues like our beloved Ellis, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.
This post was created with the help of Grammarly.