Fire, Fury, and Compulsive Ordering

Posted by Christie Szymanowski | Mar 5, 2018 | Anxiety, Fake News, News, Social Media Anxiety Disorder of the Week | 0 |

Fire and Fury is a controversial new book by journalist Michael Wolff, who spent months in the White House documenting the everyday dealings of the Trump Administration. Most notably, it includes explosive comments from Steve Bannon, who served as White House Chief Strategist until he left in August 2017.

Who’d have thought that the anticipation of a political tell-all could trump the buzz that even the Harry Potter series received? In this bizarre political climate, we find ourselves more interested in whispers behind the closed doors of the West Wing, something that would have bored us to tears if we were dealing with any other administration.

Several damning leaks were published ahead of its release, and it seemed like no one could get enough of these tasty morsels. Fire and Fury’s publisher, Henry Holt and Company, is rushing to keep up with demands. The book is currently the number one bestseller on Amazon. 

People have been going to any means necessary to procure the book. While it’s easy enough to get an electronic copy, the high demand has made the hardcover impossible to come by. It’s driving physical book purists crazy. 

“It’s so hard to decide,” political junkie Pete Walsh wrote feverishly on Facebook. “I need to read it now. But it’s all sold out! I went to Barnes and Noble, Books-A-Million, and three indie stores in my area. Everyone is sold out. Fine, I said. Fine! I’ll buy it on Kindle. It’s fifteen dollars. Fifteen dollars for a freaking digital book when the hardcover is only eighteen. But Amazon says it could take weeks to come in. By then, everyone will have talked about it extensively, and I’ll be late to the game.”

Not one to compromise, Pete bought both copies. 

“Why am I so obsessed with this book? I think the main reason is because of the social media buzz it’s getting,” Walsh said. “Fire and Fury is so hot right now. Trump supporters are in an outrage, while everyone else is hoping it has enough damning evidence in it to trigger an even greater decline in his popularity. Anyone who’s anyone wants to read it. Can I go now? I’m only on page 100 of this insufferable e-book.”

Dr. Matthew Irving, who studied political psychology at Cornell, said he’s been referring to the madness surrounding people’s attempts to get the book as “compulsive ordering.” According to Irving, compulsive ordering is practically unheard of for political books. “It’s especially bad because the publisher, for some reason, wasn’t expecting such an influx of buyers.”

He has some advice for those suffering from ordering disorder. “At the end of the day, it’s not that big a deal. If you feel like you can’t wait another second for Fire and Fury, just buy the Kindle edition so you can let everyone know what your opinions of it are online. If you can justify and afford to buy two copies of the same book, knock yourself out. Just don’t go overboard and buy a copy for everyone you know like some people are.”

This post was created with the help of Grammarly.

Photo Credit: Folsom Natural

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