Ghosts and Demons and Shadows! Oh My! | The Shadow of Who Could Ever Love You Anyways | Laurel Leaside

Posted by Laurel Leaside | Jun 16, 2017 | Ghosts and Demons and Shadows! Oh My! | 0 |

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This is a pretty sad one to share, but I figured a happy occasion- like celebrating  all of these wonderful lovely people that braved looking at some of what haunts them and then found even more courage to share with us all of us seemed like a good balance. So show these amazing humans some love and appreciation by voting for your favorites!!

Thank you so much to everybody who participated!! We are so delighted and thankful:)
!!!

* While this contest is closed for the time being you are always welcome to play, submit any of your “Ghosts and Demons and Shadow ” art by emailing us at submit@massivephobia.com

*Or if you prefer to play for chances to win, another creative contest starts next week (we have lots of ideas in store), or wait for this one to come back around!!

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The Shadow of Who Could Ever Love You Anyways

The Shadow of Who Could Ever Love You Anyways, likes to keep me company for all the various kinds of heartache us humans find along the way (well the catastrophic feeling kind at least). She’s a soft pink mist, gently hugging me at the Loneliest Edge of the Universe.

In the softest voice of dismay and resign “You tried your hardest to make that work. I know you really*did. It’s ok, you were doomed to fail from the start. Remember? you are just fundamentally unloveable, and sooner or later they are all going to figure it out- no matter how hard you try to be perfect. The sooner you just accept that this is your lot in life, the sooner you can stop hurting. Isn’t it just better out here, the two of us together gently coasting the edge of the Great Beyond. Alone together. Some of us just aren’t made to be loved my Dear” is what she dreamily whispers in my ear, and at times like this, I believe it. After all, it’s one of my oldest lullabies.

Comfort can come in some unlikely packages.
Seems like a strange kind of soothe, and yet it does, in it’s way.

And when she comes- no amount of logic, no amount of contradictory proof, no heartfelt affirmations of appreciation, or declarations of affection and undying love, can penetrate her fog. Nothing, absolutely nothing- can pierce the density of this sweet soft pink cloud. Nothing can even get close enough to try.

The Loneliest Edge of the Universe turns out to be a very safe place to be. I mean when nothing can touch you, what can hurt you, right?

This is one of my most toxic shadows that I have encountered, to date. Subtle, pastel colored, and soothing but noxious, deadly still the same- actually probably, even more. The latter due to the former.

So how do I deal with this comfortably numb shadow? I gotta be honest I don’t entirely know. Fighting certainly doesn’t help, that just makes the fog more dense and suffocating. I think how this one dissipates.. carefully curated distraction. Like a really enthralling book of fiction, movies, and audio books (gotta watch the tone, not too miserable or too saccharine, gently hopeful with just enough hurt?). Long meandering walks that include some natural beauty. Lying down and feeling my body being held, held to the Earth by gravity (even better if you can do this actually on the ground outside, but 30 stories up and in bed is fine too). Brainwaves and colouring books is a nice combo.  Maybe after some good doses of these, time with a friend that doesn’t push too hard to try to “make me better” but is also sensitive to notice the hurt and respond.

Only after the fog starts to thin out can the logic, the contradictory proof, the heart affirmations, and the declarations of affection be applied with any success. Then I can see the Vista again and know that it’s just merely been one of my shadows clouding up my view.

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This post was created with the help of Grammarly.


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