Grindr, Manicures, and Beartox

Posted by Bobby Jenkins | Apr 5, 2018 | Bipolar Disorder, Bobby Jenkins: The Diary of a Bipolar Bear, Identity | 0 |

Dear Diary,

The single landscape is tricky for a bear like me. I don’t know how to date (off of Grindr) and I feel like I’m terrible at flirting (in real life). Either that or I need Beartox (note to self: look into rates) and maybe a manicure… I’m out of control these days Diary. I need a makeover to show to knock on my front door tackle me down and glitter me fabulous. I wouldn’t hate it if they lined up some prospects too coz right now arranged marriages seem like the way to go. I’m really having trouble closing lately.

Of the 4 dates I’ve been on this month, I’ve already slept with 2 out of the 4 them before and I couldn’t get them back into bed with me to save a life. The 3rd had “work in the morning” (AFTER I paid the bill, of course…) and the 4th one, Troy, had “manners” (fucking annoying). We’ve been connected through Instagram for years, so when I ran into him partying I said hi. Once he started buying me drinks, dancing hype and then hating the same songs… my confidence was so high! He flirted with me but wasn’t hitting on me directly. I knew I finally broke the drought! But when I got outside, I started noticing his fucking “manners”. He bought me a water from a hotdog stand and said he would wait with me “until my uber came” I was like oooooo so we’re going to my house!! UNTIL the uber came and he hugged me goodbye and held the door and DIDN’T get in. Yep. I was fully driving away like “was I clear enough?” “has my ex cast a spell on me?” And “do I need beartox”? 

I’m not sure that he’s the one if he doesn’t fuck on the first date. Like, I truly have a type and that is it… should I try a new “good” guy whose exes I can’t name and I haven’t seen him on Grindr? I mean maybe??? I’m not sure if I scared him off with my slutty vibes and suggestive dance moves (note: stop giving lap dances in the club) or if it’s my aggressive personality (he kept calling me “hype” all night) or if there truly is a Gentlebear left in this world…. But one thing I do know… is I need to sleep with this guy. Or at least 1/4 of those dates. Maybe I should be more forward… or less forward. Damn. Is there a book on dating in the real world? Everyone on Grindr is so forward that I’ve been taking that on in real life, and now I’m this undateable slutty ass manic bear that gives free lapdances in the club and neither get paid nor gets laid. This approach is not working. And I’ve already improved my Instagram Aesthetic! Now I need to work on me. So I will learn new, conservative dance moves and showcase then the next time I see Troy in the club.


LITTLE KNOWN FACT

Beartox was created by Dr. Bearjamin Buttons who had a rare aging disease. He was born looking like a very aged bear with wrinkles upon wrinkles all over his body. He made it his lifelong goal to find a cure so he could finally look as young as his fellow bears which he finally did in 1992. He now lives a party style life with all the money that he made from selling his Beartox anti-wrinkle cure and millions of bears around the world are so happy with his creation too, even though the cure prevents them from expressing a smile to show their appreciation.


If you or a loved one you know battles with Bipolar Disorder or any Mental Health Issues, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.



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