By 1999, I was a five year veteran of the internet, but blind to the future narcissistic epidemic as the rise of social media was on the horizon. I was drunk on the Kool-Aid of the connected future in the most pure and innocent way. It was a lawless virtual world, where if you got screwed out of your hard earned money on eBay, when buying a Japanese Wrestling Death Match Video, then you just got screwed. At the time I was livid and wanted to apply a figure four leg lock to the low-level narcissist criminal that took advantage of my blind faith, but now, I actually miss those days. Being fooled by a small time narcissist crook was one thing, but I’d rather be taken advantage of by a mom and pop operation, than by psychopathic narcissist corporations that attempt to control me with every single click……. But I’ve gotten off topic, so let’s get back to 1999 and my subscription to Wired Magazine.
Wired kicked major ass back in those days, and I gladly spent my evil dad’s money to receive 12 issues a year of that bad boy. My favorite section was called ‘Objects From The Future,’ and it’s where I saw Titanium Body Parts for the very first time, which blew my fucking mind.
Fast forward to the Olympics, where a regular dude with no legs or athletic ability, who was big into Apartheid and killing woman, named Oscar Pistorius, proved the viability of titanium body parts by running in the 100 metre dash, even though it should have been illegal. HE USED FAKE LEGS! However, it set a precedent for others to continue working on this awesome technology. And since his incarceration for murder, these titanium technologies have come a long way.
Titanium body part replacement is now a voluntary surgery where your bones are replaced with titanium parts, giving your punches, kicks, and headbutts, 100 times the power of your current regular person power. So based on my earlier posts, I’m sure you’ve noticed me saying that I’ve punched right through someone’s body or even melted their insides out. And this couldn’t be possible without the help of the Tyrell Corporation from the film ‘Blade Runner’, but for real. And they’ve become a major partner, sponsor, and lifelong friend of the narcissist cause. They pretty much rule.
And obviously, having titanium parts is expensive, so if you join our team on a full-time basis, we’ll fully pay for your procedure as long as you sign up to a 15-year commitment to the cause, with a very competitive health and dental insurance package too. Unfortunately, this agreement doesn’t allow dependents. So if you have kids, you’ll need to give them away to a relative or foster care until you’ve been discharged. No pressure though, but we’d love to have you.
This post was created with the help of Grammarly.