It’s that time of the year when I get depressed because school’s about to get back into the swing of things, even though I haven’t been to school in around 15 years. It’s also the time of the year that my family gets together at the cottage so we can all pretend like we get along. However, based on years past and the triggers that can occur, my therapist thought it was in my best interest to boycott this year’s festivities, even though, deep down, I love my parents and my family very much.
My PTSD runs deep, and I do my best to deal with it, but there’s something about constant bickering that I can’t handle. I blackout in a way and I just need to run. The problem with going to the cottage is that there is nowhere to run too when the bickering between my parents begin. It follows you wherever you may go. Your mood doesn’t matter anymore, and it’s all about taking sides, and my mom ends up crying, or my dad ends up pissed. Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents, I really do, but I like hanging out with them individually.
Three’s a crowd, they say. In the group of three, there always seems to be one of us that’s compromising and that creates conflict. I’m not great with conflict. I like things to be easy, so when it comes to my parents, when we’re doing things individually, I just go with the flow. But when it’s all three, they just don’t seem to be able to go with the flow with each other…..EVER! The strange thing is that they think they get along? One time when I brought up their consent bickering, they both turned and said to me, we’re not bickering, like they were oblivious to the way they act with each other.
Am I going crazy? Am I the only one that experiences this? All I know is that at this very moment, my very fragile psyche can’t handle them, so I sent them this postcard, and I hope they get too offended by it.
If you or a loved one is battling PTSD or CPTSD, please do get help if you’re not getting any right now. If you need to talk to anyone right away, our friends at Better Help are here for you by just CLICKING HERE.
This post was created with the help of Grammarly.