Dear Judge Mental Jones,
I’m not normally gloomy but I’ve felt so hopeless since the season changed. It’s always dark and I’m so layered and I feel like I have no ambition. I finally bought a sun lamp after learning about Seasonal Depression on an episode of Broad City. My extroverted roommate- who is also my best friend- threw a party and fucking broke it!!!! It was $150! I don’t want to wreck our friendship but I do want the lamp replaced and I don’t know how to approach it. I can barely get up for work in the morning because 6am looks like 3am now- it’s impossible to get up. It’s not like I have an official diagnosis- but it really worked for me. What now?
Dear I’m So SAD That I Can’t Even Deal With Approaching My Roommate,
I’m going to be really nice about your question because of your Seasonal Affective Disorder, but please don’t get used to it.
The hardest thing about having a roommate is if that roommate is also your best friend. I always try to remind people to not move in with their friends as most of the time you’ll become friendless by the end of it all.
First thing first, regardless of the lamp being a mental health lamp, your roommate/friend should have acknowledged it and come up with a plan on how to replace it before you even had to ask. I don’ know your money situation, but if it’s an issue, then maybe having a layaway plan would be best.
Now, it may not have been her that broke your lamp, but a guest of hers. That doesn’t matter, as she should still be on the hook. However, were you at this party too? It is your place, and you most likely have many of the same friends. So the odds of you being there even though it wasn’t officially your party, are pretty high? If this is the case, then it’s a whole different ballgame.
In scenario A, you weren’t there, so you must confront your friend head on and explain that it was for your mood and then lay it on real thick. Just tell her how hard it’s been for you lately to get through your days and how badly you needed that lamp. Ask her to contribute to replacing the lamp in full and if she can’t afford it herself, ask her to start with little payments. She may know who actually broke the lamp and then ask that person for some bits of money too. Just start this chain of events going. If she’s your friend, she’ll agree to it. Also, crying while you tell her everything helps.
In scenario B, you were at the party having fun the whole time while the lamp broke, then you’re shit out of luck. You had all the opportunity to move that lamp out of whatever room it was in, but for some reason, it was still in harm’s way and got harmed. I know it’s terrible, but that’s not your roomie’s fault, and you need to suck it up and just buy a new lamp.
Please buy your lamp as soon as possible, and also try and go to the doctor, or make an appointment with a therapist if you can. You need to talk about your seasonal depression. Talking helps.
I can’t believe I was nice for this whole entire letter. I’m gonna go be a dick now. Maybe I’ll kick a person who owns a big dog yet lives in a small apartment or something.
xo Judge Mental Jones
If you or a loved one you know battles with any Mental Health Issues, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.
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