Hi, Everyone! It’s Me, Ellis! And I hope you’re doing better than I’ve been doing in the last few crummy days. It’s been a crummy-thon in my otherwise cute apartment. And even though my apartment is cute, I’m kinda crummy at keeping it neat and tidy. The finishings are really lovely to look at though, but I had nothing to do with building them. All I did was move my old crum-bum of a self in one day.
You see what I’m getting at? No? Hmmmmm….I’m not explaining myself well….. CRUDGE!!!!
Sorry for my profanity. I’m just really frustrated to the point that my red skin is breaking out into hives….. Okay, let me start over again.
The last few days, all I’ve been doing is nit-picking at all the crummy things I don’t like about myself, and I cried a lot, and I called myself bad names, and it’s just been the crummiest week in a long time. I didn’t even show up to work one day, and then I felt really crummy about not showing up. I started thinking that everyone’s going to judge me for being crummy and weak and stuff like that, which made me feel even crummier.
But then, this morning, I got a phone call. It was actually a video call on my WhatsApp from Laurel Leaside. She said she wanted to see my radiating face because it made her feel good just to see it…..and that made me feel a little less crummy, you know? Just knowing that she really likes seeing my face made me smile. I felt as if my heart hugged my heart, you know?
So Laurel, who is my boss by the way, she just always knows when I’m down. It’s like she has an Ellis Sense. She just wanted to see how much of a crum-bum I’ve been and how much I was beating myself up. She’s a really good listener too. She always repeats back what I’ve said to her and asks me questions to clarify what I mean by things, and I always feel like I’m heard, and it always makes me feel better. And then she said something that changed my day, and it went like this ‘Imagine if you obsessed about the things you loved about yourself?’
At first, I didn’t think about what she said, and then she made me repeat her words because she knew I wasn’t fully listening. So I repeated it back to her and then I thought about what it meant. It really made me think, you know? So I told her that I was going to make a list of things I loved about myself and that I’d send it to her right when I finished.
Laurel Leaside really is the best boss I could ever have on Earth. So I thanked her and told her that I had to get going to make my list. She reminded me to be easy on myself and to accept all the beautiful things coming my way, even though sometimes my crummy self refuses to admit it.
So here’s my list and I’m really excited to show it to you because I don’t talk like this about myself very often and it feels warm and fuzzy to see it all down on paper.
If you or a loved one you know battles with Trust, Self Esteem, Anxiety, Depression or any other Mental Health Issues like our beloved Ellis, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.
This post was created with the help of Grammarly.