Judge Mental Jones | April 1st 2017

Posted by Judge Mental Jones | Apr 1, 2017 | Judge Mental Jones | 0 |

1. My parents know I have anxiety, and they got a dog, which they know gives me anxiety, what should I do?

First of all, your parents are dicks. Huge dicks! Not just for getting the dog, but for not letting you pick the perfect YouTube-ready puppy. These idiots must not know how money-making is accomplished these days. I hope you at least get to name the dog. Make it a cute name so you can start an Instagram with it, or just rename it for Instagram.

I don’t know the full circumstances of this situation, and I’m going to assume they got the dog thinking it will help you with your anxiety. The old face your fears deal.

Your parents didn’t listen to your needs, and that just makes your trust in them disappear. When you have a conversation with them, discuss your trust issues and how this puppy situation will further divide you. Thus, making you never tell them what’s going on with you because of how much it hurts to not feel understood.

If they don’t listen, then you just have shitty parents. If they were in front of me right now, I’d punch them for you.

If this is the case, I’d recommend buying the dog a shirt and re-naming it something they hate. You can always move out, but that would involve a job, and I have a feeling that will cause you more anxiety.

Good luck!

2. My brother called me from inpatient Gambling Rehabilitation and asked me to make all of his fantasy baseball transactions, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want him to be angry at me, and I don’t want to get him in trouble, but I fear he won’t love me anymore.

Listen to me. If your brother is GOOD at gambling, take the advice and use your own money so that you can profit. However, If he’s in Rehab it’s because of his mounting debt, so don’t be a pussy and tell him to fuck off. You’re a total ENABLER. If the thought of someone “being angry” at you is affecting your decision making, then you, my friend, ARE the problem. Learn to be an adult by saying NO more than yes.

Hell hath no fury like Judge Mental Jones to Enablers.

How about you outsource the job to a friend that sounds like you. They’ll call and say “no” to your brother on your behalf, you baby. Then, you don’t have to be a snitch, and your brother will be mad at someone who isn’t even you. And I’LL be angry at you if you continue this charade of “I want to help him get better but not if it involves him getting angry.” Ughhhhhhhh!

A huge key to successful rehab of all kinds is the need for family and friends to be on the same page. If there are any weak links, like you, it could threaten a relapse when your brother leaves inpatient treatment. If you didn’t read that correctly due to your crocodile tears being in the way, read it again.

Now I’ll be nice and gentle for a second. I understand you may have other issues that trigger this guilt you’re feeling, so you’ll need to do some work. Trust me. My guess is that you always want everyone to like you and that doesn’t always work out for you, does it? You’ll have to learn to deal with yourself on those issues if you don’t want this situation to continue for the rest of your life.

A good book for you to read is called Radical Forgiveness: A Revolutionary Five-Stage Process to:- Heal Relationships – Let Go of Anger and Blame – Find Peace in Any Situation. Tell Amazon Judge Mental Jones sent you.

3. My mother says she has dissociative amnesia and I don’t know if it’s officially diagnosed or not. She says she doesn’t remember any of the horrible things she did to me when I was young and now I’m angrier than ever. Thoughts?

This is a tricky one. There’s no proof that your mom doesn’t have it, but I assume she’s showing you no doctors evidence as well. So, if she is lying: Tell her to go fuck herself. Like a real big, double one finger salute from me, times 1000, go fuck herself.

That shit did happen to you, and it was wrong. Don’t you ever let her tell you otherwise. You need to attempt to heal from this past abuse, and if this is what your mother is doing to you now, it’s up to you to have her as part of your life or not. It’s a judgment I can’t make for you.

However, being Judge Mental Jones and all that it entails, If this were me, I’d kick that no good piece of poo to the curb and let my healing process truly begin.

Why? Because you’re worth it! And don’t you let anyone be dismissive of your experience. Anyone! That’s including you.

Now give me a hug and please don’t tell anyone I’m a softy. I have a reputation to uphold.

This post was created with the help of Grammarly.


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