Dear Judge Mental Jones,
My dad battles mental illness issues and has been sending threats on Facebook to my father-in-law over wedding budget disagreements. After a third threat on his life, my father-in-law filed a police report. Obviously, me and my husband have been fighting about this and both sides of our family want to call off the wedding. I’ve paid for the wedding in full and we can’t get any refunds. My dad refuses to be quiet and civil, or even go to personal or family therapy. I am in therapy and have been for awhile, but still don’t know how to handle all this. Can I force him to get help? I feel like he’s out of control. What do I do?
Dear Your Between A Dad & A Hard Place,
Are you sure your father has mental health issues or is he just a self-centered douche bag? You never said any specific mental health disorder, is this just a guess? It’s like what some people in the media currently say about the president, that he has mental health issues, when in fact, he doesn’t. So your father could just be a dotard unless you have a real doctor complete a thorough diagnosis.
Now that we have that out of the way, let’s get back to thinking that he actually does have mental health issues and your wedding and you.
Healthy or unhealthy, don’t let him sabotage your future, your new (impending) family, and your wedding investments with his ignorant ass. Threatening your soon-to-be family obviously isn’t going to get him any damn results. But being healthy would. Or even ACKNOWLEDGING that he might not be healthy. So you may have to isolate him as to incentivize him to seek help – for his own good (tough love, kid)! Don’t risk your mental health and the safety of others to appease someone. You need to protect yourself from his self-denial debris.
WORSE- what if he actually comes!!! He could be three beers away from trying to aggressively work shit out with the non-confrontational side. I understand how this could be hard for you and your new beau, but this is one of the challenges of having a family with mental health issues. Eventually, you have to set boundaries and encourage them to get healthy. Setting up an online family therapy session could be best. And if he says no to that- don’t let that fucker come to the wedding.
With all that being said, if I was on the groom’s side of the family and you weren’t doing anything about this situation, and it kept on happening, I’d tell the groom to run as fast as he could because this would never stop. No offense to you or anything, but if I had the choice of a drama-few life versus a drama-always life, I would take that drama-few life in a heartbeat. So what I’m saying is, you better get this shit with your dad under control right now, or this will be a problem with all your relationships for the rest of your life if this one falls apart, which seems pretty likely right now if you keep on going with the status-quo.
xo, Judge Mental Jones
If you or a loved one you know battles with any Mental Health Issues, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.
This post was created with the help of Grammarly.