Dear Judge Mental Jones,
My Step Mom has been deeply sabotaging my relationship with my dad. She is constantly answering his phone, responding to the emails I send him (without identifying herself), and setting me up for failure when it comes to family events. She plays me against my sisters and constantly tells me that my reality isn’t real by denying that she’s ever said or done things that I have proof of. She has even hit me before and told my Dad that I was lying about it- and there’s a witness. I don’t feel safe talking to her, or even my Dad because she polices his communication with me. I’ve tried talking to him about it and he always believes her side- even though I’ve never lied to him. I’m at my wits end. What should I do?
Dear Your Step Mom Is Evil,
This lady sounds toxic as fuck. Damn. The funny thing about toxic people, is that they are damn near impossible to break up with. Especially when they’re attached to your Dad. They’re like an emanating stink that only you can smell.
In this case, tell your Dad to put his big boy pants on and answer his phone- which will now be your only means of communication. If you say that this Diabolical Lying Ass can speak to you via his email and text without identifying herself, then eliminate that as a means for her. Only speak to your Dad when you can verify it’s him from now on. Ask him out to coffee or lunch to quarantine him from the poison. She is clearly gas lighting you.
First, always be busy when she calls and screenshot when she texts. Try not to be alone with her because witnesses are LIFE when it comes to a gaslighter (someone who tells you your reality isn’t real, even when there’s proof).
When it comes to family events, camp it the fuck up with her with smiles and love because my mom told me to kill’em with kindness. When you can’t, kill them with fakeness. That way no one would ever believe HER side the next time she comes for you.
Don’t get into any sort of war with someone like this. It’s quite possible she’s a sociopath and you don’t want to mess with a sociopath. They feed off making drama and if there’s no drama, they can’t feed. Most sociopaths are hell bent on revenge, so it’s best to stay out of their way completely. I know you can’t, due to your dad and obligations, but he’s obviously under some spell that he can’t see and that’s his own problem. He’s a grown adult.
Otherwise, stick to family events (wedding, funerals, and holidays) because anything outside of that is going to be her playground for manipulation. Don’t try to play here game. A sociopath will stoop to levels I wouldn’t even go, and trust me when I say this. I go low as all fuck.
Good Luck – xo
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