Judge Mental Jones | July 2nd 2017

Posted by Judge Mental Jones | Jul 2, 2017 | Judge Mental Jones | 0 |

Dear Judge Mental Jones,

So awhile back now, my best friend and I signed up for a story-sharing website called Wattpad. Do you know it? You can make and create stories, and read others’ stories as well. It’s pretty entertaining, but now I’m concerned that my friend and her stories are showing signs of mental illness.

At first, it all seemed like good fun, but now she’s put herself into these stories and appears to be acting out fantasies with Harry Potter, Harry Styles, Tom Hardy, and many other famous people from music, movies, and TV.

I’m concerned because in these stories she’s teaming up with some of these people to kill others and then she also has herself marrying Draco Malfoy in many of them too.

I don’t know what to do, and it’s getting worse. I think she’s going crazy. Please advise.

Dear My Friend Mainly Loves British People,

Hmmmmmmmm…….. I have a novel idea if you haven’t tried it yet. How about you actually ask your fucking friend about her writing like a real adult instead of speculating and asking advice from me? Until you do that, you won’t know for sure.

From what you’ve told me already, I don’t see anything that warrants this to be called a mental health issue at all. Do you know how often I take a shower and think about Channing Tatum soaping my body up and down while whispering sweet nothings into my ears? I’ll tell you how much, bitch. It’s the reason I take three showers a day because I can’t get enough of that dreamy fucker asking me to marry him. And you’re damn right I say yes every single time.

It’s a fantasy, and there isn’t anything wrong with a fantasy. The only issue I have is that everyone she fantasizes about seems to be British or close to British, and I think Brits just sound ridiculous when they talk. But to each their own.

As far as you go, maybe you should have your own fantasy once in awhile. Like one in which you know how to communicate better. I recommend you buy the book Difficult Conversations.

Dear Judge Mental Jones,

I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD and major depression, and lately, I have been seeing images of my wife trying to kill me and me killing her. Why is this happening? Is it my PTSD relating with depression to her? WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

Dear Dream Slasher,

I’m usually not very understanding at all because I’m pretty much the Dexter towards Judgemental Assholes, but this is a sensitive case, and I need to handle you with care. The dreams you’re having are one of the main criteria for being diagnosed with PTSD, so you shouldn’t worry or try to read into what’s going on. It’s your subconscious working and killing or being killed shouldn’t be taken literally. If this were the case, I’d be a mass murderer by now.

If you don’t see a mental health professional and you’re concerned about these images still, please do start going and talk with someone that isn’t an asshole like me.

This post was created with the help of Grammarly.


About The Author

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *