Judge Mental Jones

The world’s most judgemental advice columnist, Judge Mental Jones. Think of her as the Dexter of advice columnists. If people are being judgemental towards you, she’ll rip them a new one on your behalf. But beware, she doesn’t like it if you write in and are judgemental towards others too.  Her sword is double edged and you’ll laugh at how blunt this advice can be. If you have any questions, please send them to submit@massivephobia.com

 

Help! My Religion Is Anti-Medication

Dear Judge Mental Jones, I’m suffering from a long bout of depression. I went to a Doctor and he recommended Medication and going to a Therapist. My parents are avid church-goers, and a lot of my social circle is very religious because I grew up with them in the...

Judge Mental Jones: September 12th 2017

Dear Judge Mental Jones, I’m having Posting Paranoia!! Every time I go to post a photo online I run through so many obstacles in my head. Does it match my previous posts? Should I go bright or moody? How many likes before I feel comfortable keeping it up? Should I use...

Judge Mental Jones: September 7th 2017

Dear Judge Mental Jones, I have social anxiety and my fiancé keeps signing me up for his extravagant family and work activities, like week long Cottage trips and destination weddings (where I know no one but him). His friends hate me because I don't connect with them...

Judge Mental Jones: September 2nd 2017

Dear Judge Mental Jones, My boyfriend has suffered from depression since I met him a year ago and it makes him a great artist. But lately, I feel guilty being happy or optimistic around him . He always finds the negative in any good news that I share, so I’ve found...

Judge Mental Jones: August 23rd 2017

Dear Judge Mental Jones, My step-son is out of control. He used to be a good kid with straight A’s and a ballet dancer. Since “leaving” ballet class (we suspect he was thrown out) he hasn’t been eating. He fainted at the grocery store the other day and when we force...

Judge Mental Jones: August 20th 2017

Dear Judge Mental Jones, My husband was fired from work for absenteeism when his father passed away last year. He developed a depression that impacted our bills, the yard work, our social life… practically everything. He spent months on the couch and refused to seek...

Judge Mental Jones: July 29th 2017

Dear Judge Mental Jones, My boyfriend has put on exponential weight since we started dating and it's bothering me. Now he's less social and I suspect he's avoiding our engagement and couples photos as a result. He's way less confident and more negative these days. He...

Judge Mental Jones: July 26th 2017

Dear Judge Mental Jones, My daughter and I can’t stop fighting because she’s obsessed with her online profiles! She won't make eye contact during conversations. She has melt downs when the internet has a bleep and she is constantly depressed because of someone...

Judge Mental Jones | July 17th 2017

Dear Judge Mental Jones, My Step Mom has been deeply sabotaging my relationship with my dad. She is constantly answering his phone, responding to the emails I send him (without identifying herself), and setting me up for failure when it comes to family events. She...

Judge Mental Jones | July 15th 2017

Dear Judge Mental Jones, My dad doesn’t know I’m gay, because I haven't told him, since he’s a homophobic comedian. I have been with my girlfriend for 1 year and I have avoided every family event and holiday as a result because MY GIRLFRIEND doesn’t know that I...

Judge Mental Jones | July 2nd 2017

Dear Judge Mental Jones, So awhile back now, my best friend and I signed up for a story-sharing website called Wattpad. Do you know it? You can make and create stories, and read others' stories as well. It's pretty entertaining, but now I’m concerned that my friend...

Judge Mental Jones | June 18th 2017

Dear Judge Mental Jones, I am a married female, age 29. I recently married in October, and I am very happy in my current relationship. I work in the social services field. I need to know if I am an alcoholic. I tell myself every night that I am going to take a break...

Judge Mental Jones | June 6th 2017

Dear Judge Mental Jones, My wife gave me her phone to look at an Instagram picture and when I clicked on the search by mistake, I could see that her last search was of her ex-boyfriend. When I brought it up, she immediately called me insecure and now her phone has a...

Judge Mental Jones | May 24th 2017

Dear Judge Mental Jones, I know I am depressed, suicidal at times, but I am afraid to seek help because I my husband thinks it will jeopardize my ability to work and he’s already upset that I’ve chosen to go back to school. I’ve always worked with children, first in...

Judge Mental Jones | May 19th 2017

Dear Judge Mental Jones, I’m 35 years old and my newly retired narcissistic father wants to hang out with me all the time. He was too busy to hang out for the previous 34 years and I never had an issue with it until now. I guess I’m used to being left alone by him,...

Judge Mental Jones | April 10th 2017

Dear Judge Mental Jones, The other day, I broke down to my friend about how difficult life has been lately with bills mounting, and the attention my son needs, with his autism and some physical issues. His older sibling also feels like I’m paying no attention to her,...

Judge Mental Jones | April 21st 2017

1) I work for an inpatient rehabilitation clinic, and I overheard the owner talking about their love for Obamacare, which bothered me. And I quote “Thank goodness for Obamacare sticking around, our clients can still afford to come back again.” This made me ill. Where...

Judge Mental Jones | April 1st 2017

1. My parents know I have anxiety, and they got a dog, which they know gives me anxiety, what should I do? First of all, your parents are dicks. Huge dicks! Not just for getting the dog, but for not letting you pick the perfect YouTube-ready puppy. These idiots must...