Judge Mental Jones

The world’s most judgemental advice columnist, Judge Mental Jones. Think of her as the Dexter of advice columnists. If people are being judgemental towards you, she’ll rip them a new one on your behalf. But beware, she doesn’t like it if you write in and are judgemental towards others too.  Her sword is double edged and you’ll laugh at how blunt this advice can be. If you have any questions, please send them to submit@massivephobia.com

 

My Teacher’s A Bully

Dear Judge Mental Jones, I’m being bullied by a teacher at school. She’s always commenting on how I’m late or saying “thank you for finally showing up” after a few sick days. I’ve been looking really rundown so she recently starting commenting that I need to try...

My Boyfriend Gaslights Me

Dear Judge Mental Jones, My ex-boyfriend cheated on me but we worked it out and got back together. I was wary of him cheating again obviously and he kept saying that my “paranoia” of him cheating again was just my mental illness and it wasn't real.  Flash forward to a...

My Family Isn’t Protecting Me

Dear Judge Mental Jones, My Uncle Gary is a nightmare. He married into the family and 4 years ago he asked me to sit on his lap at my niece’s Christening. He pulled my onto him at the reception and fully grasped my boob as I was falling onto him. He was pulled from...

Help! My Religion Is Anti-Medication

Dear Judge Mental Jones, I’m suffering from a long bout of depression. I went to a Doctor and he recommended Medication and going to a Therapist. My parents are avid church-goers, and a lot of my social circle is very religious because I grew up with them in the...

Judge Mental Jones: August 20th 2017

Dear Judge Mental Jones, My husband was fired from work for absenteeism when his father passed away last year. He developed a depression that impacted our bills, the yard work, our social life… practically everything. He spent months on the couch and refused to seek...

Judge Mental Jones | July 17th 2017

Dear Judge Mental Jones, My Step Mom has been deeply sabotaging my relationship with my dad. She is constantly answering his phone, responding to the emails I send him (without identifying herself), and setting me up for failure when it comes to family events. She...

Judge Mental Jones | July 15th 2017

Dear Judge Mental Jones, My dad doesn’t know I’m gay, because I haven't told him, since he’s a homophobic comedian. I have been with my girlfriend for 1 year and I have avoided every family event and holiday as a result because MY GIRLFRIEND doesn’t know that I...

Judge Mental Jones | June 18th 2017

Dear Judge Mental Jones, I am a married female, age 29. I recently married in October, and I am very happy in my current relationship. I work in the social services field. I need to know if I am an alcoholic. I tell myself every night that I am going to take a break...

Judge Mental Jones | June 6th 2017

Dear Judge Mental Jones, My wife gave me her phone to look at an Instagram picture and when I clicked on the search by mistake, I could see that her last search was of her ex-boyfriend. When I brought it up, she immediately called me insecure and now her phone has a...

Judge Mental Jones | May 19th 2017

Dear Judge Mental Jones, I’m 35 years old and my newly retired narcissistic father wants to hang out with me all the time. He was too busy to hang out for the previous 34 years and I never had an issue with it until now. I guess I’m used to being left alone by him,...

Judge Mental Jones | April 10th 2017

Dear Judge Mental Jones, I’m a female time traveller from 1667 A.D., and I had a question about dating.. My parents will not give me the key to my own chastity belt and they say it’s because of my bipolar manic episodes where I become hyper sexual. Our old neighbour...