Every time I think I’m “healed” or “medicated enough” to experience normalcy- I get kicked in the ass with a self awareness journey. I thought I had it all under control. Medication, family, casual sex and gay bears. Hell I thought I had heard the last of Lee.
Then- 13 blocked accounts later- I lose my fucking mind. Disruption occurs. I send it to my bestie Jean and he insists that I’M obsessed (even though it’s my second time bringing it up in a year). We haven’t spoken since. People are so shitty at giving advice. They’re always like “it could be worse” “it’ll be okay” “just forget about it” “move on”. Like listen you motional poster personified- shut the fuck up. I’ve clocked HOURS on hours of listening to everyone- but especially Jean’s- relationship problems. And the second a real challenge comes up that I need to vent about- people cower into deflection and start quoting ”easy-breezy” strategies like they’re doctor fucking Phil. I find that I’m a top-of-the-line resource to the same people when they fight with their bf at a bar, or get cheated on, or are having an existential crisis. But when I need someone to listen- no advice at all- just to flush out my feelings so I understand them – I’ve plastered with forced advice. Like “I’ve been over it- getting over it doesn’t solve being harassed… we’re past that, letting it go doesn’t work anymore with Lee. He’s a broken bear and prefers negative attention to none at all.
Or they’ll share what they went through- that was WAY worse. Or what their “friend” you’ve never heard of did. Like, it doesn’t apply. This is a custom situation with two uniquely different bears. I don’t need you to force advice on me. If I say “Your car is acting up? Sell it” I don’t mean “sell it or we stop talking” but people are so fake enlightened these days, it’s atrocious. They read “The Secret” and tell you to “visualize a new life” like cool, wow, ouuu, why didn’t I think of that. Are you Gandhi incarnate? Yeesh.
I called my friend Shaun to vent and he started ranting on about it “not being worse than” his substance abuse, bitchy boyfriend with a spending fetish, telling his Dad he smoked. And that’s just it. People spin problems to make it about them. How enlightened they are. How much worse they have it. How insane their cousin-twice-removed’s mental breakdown was. THAT’S why we pay for therapists. They spend the better part of a decade learning about how to LISTEN without making the person feel JUDGED or INVALIDATED and so again- I thought I was independent, but will have to learn to make enough money to afford the friend that doesn’t give solutions but just listens. Imagine more people grew up feeling heard? Wow.
If you or a loved one you know battles with Bipolar Disorder or any Mental Health Issues, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.