Man Who Worried About Writing A Screenplay For 5 Years Finally Stops And Lands A Job In Insurance

Posted by Edward Ernest | Oct 6, 2017 | Fake News, News | 0 |

Albert Johnson had been worrying about writing a screenplay over the last five years, but could never hammer down the plot points for his groundbreaking Sci-Fi-Socio-Political-Horror Film due to his lack of film structure knowledge. In what was a very tough decision, Albert has decided to end ‘not writing’ his screenplay due to the excess worry he had just thinking about it.

In his recent Twitter update, separated into 12 different tweets, Albert Johnson sent out this statement about his upcoming career change.

“It seemed like every time I made headway with the screenplay in my head; another plot hole would just open up like the size of Texas, you know? I was thinking about writing a screenplay that was so original, that it would change film forever. And it became so daunting, that the pressure that comes with such a responsibility was just too strong for one man to handle and it threw me into constant anxiety. Not writing it and moving on to bigger and better things, like working for the great people at State Life Insurance, has really helped take the monkey off my back, and I can’t wait to take my previous five years of thinking about writing a screenplay into the next phase of my life. I’m just really excited to be part of the State Life Insurance and Accompanying Subsidiaries Family.”

After the breaking news hit everyone’s Twitter feeds, Albert’s cousin Erin texted Albert’s mother Janice and offered her a heartfelt congratulations, followed by three red hearts and a bullseye emoji. Janice had already heard about the exciting news and sent Erin the following text back.

“When he told me that he accepted his dad’s offer to work for the State Farm Family, I just broke down in tears and thanked God. I mean, I’m upset that he never actually wrote a word of that screenplay cause I heard so much about it, but he was just worrying and biting his nails all the time. No mom likes to see their kids suffer, so I’m just so thrilled that the pain has been lifted from him. From all of us.”

Not everyone shared the same sentiments as Albert’s mother, Janice Johnson, as one of Albert’s friends and loyal Twitter follower, Tyler Murphy, unfollowed Albert following the news.

“I spent the last five years with Albert playing ‘Settlers Of Catan’ every Friday night, listening to him spew his ideas about his great screenplay. I was there for every plot hole fix and then even bigger plot hole creation after the fix, and there were a lot of tears shed, but I was always there for him. The fact that he’s never going to even pen one letter of text is beyond insulting for all that I’ve done for him. It just feels like I wasted so much time with him and for no reason. It’s a real slap in the face. If he thinks I’m going to buy my insurance from him after all this, he’s sorely mistaken. I’m going Prudential for sure when the time comes.”

Time will only tell if this was the right career move for Albert Johnson. However, as of right now, the State Farm Insurance Company and it’s subsidiaries have offered him a 6-month probation contract with the chance of earning 50k if he hits all his monthly sales targets with very little chance of anxiety. And Albert Johnson can’t be more thrilled about getting his first full night’s sleep in a very long time.


This post was created with the help of Grammarly.

Photo Credit: Casey Muir-Taylor

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