Thy heavens have called my sweet old director Wes Craven to his rightful place within the pearly gates. Master Craven gave me my first acting gig, and he was a kool-kat for doing so. Even though I felt more comfortable on stage playing my badass Fender Stratocaster, getting my big break opened up a world of opportunity for me, but it also opened up The Nightmare On The Elm Street Of My Mind.
Besides Wes, being on set with the bodacious Heather Langenkamp was pretty righteous, especially when they gave me the empathy I needed when I explained my anxiety and depression issues to them. They were both good sports about it, and as we all got pretty chummy, they and some other distinguished crew members came to see my band ‘Six Gun Method’ play at the world famous Roxy on the Sunset Strip. It was and still is the coolest place on earth. Rock n’ roll forever, man. I was one with the stage that night, drinking a bottle of 1978 CHATEAUNEUF DU PAPE, and making love to my curvaceous six string beauty. I was so in the moment, that I forgot my troubles for that brief period of time, but as soon as it ended, my mind began to play some dirty tricks on me.
I was no actor! I’m still no actor! And that Freddy Krueger man, he was such a trip. He killed people in their dreams. THEIR DREAMS! Think about that! I mean, in a way I was living a dream. It may not have been my dream, but it was someone’s dream. I was being paid a price tag I didn’t think I deserved, to do a job I didn’t think I earned. And somehow, in this dream state, I knew, like the other kids of Elm Street, I was about to get my soul taken by Freddy Krueger too.
What I didn’t realize though, was that I was already dead. It was only the 3rd day of shooting, and I was a out on my feet. Like the kids of Elm Street, I was staying up all night, yet I didn’t have to fall asleep for my nightmares to begin. My life was a sense of dread, and I felt guilty feeling this way, when so many people would kill to be killed by Freddy Krueger.
They say when you’re depressed you engage in reckless behavior. Well on the 13th shooting day, after set, I was such a wreck, that I got super high, found myself on some farm outside of town, and fucked a goat without a condom. I’d say that was pretty reckless.
And then……two days later…….filming was over.
All that was left was just me and my head.
At first, I thought my biggest worries were over, and that couldn’t have been further from the truth. Besides gaining invaluable experience from my new colleagues, I, unfortunately, also got my first experience of earning some real moolah. The smell of the money was such a foul stench on my breath, and yet, all I wanted was more. I was so conflicted, but the devil on my shoulder was winning the battle as it seemed money can get you out of situations that you never thought possible. Like when you get caught by the police fucking a goat without a condom, and you pay the cops enough dough to let you off scot-free. No reports. No news. Nothing.
I had just become everything I railed against on stage. Jesus Christ, who was I anymore?
And I was getting dry mouth just thinking about it.
– Johnny Depp
If you or a loved one you know battles with any Mental Health Issues, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.