Finding Your Voice Of Courage

Posted by Edward Ernest | Jul 27, 2018 | Community Collaboration, Reframe of Reference, Self Esteem | 1 |

It’s our honor to present the first ever Reframe of Reference contest winner to you. At the same time, something you may have noticed is that our winner has chosen to stay Anonymous by using the pen name S.S. Weems,  due to the sensitivity of what she wrote. It was quite impactful, and we have been told that not many know the information that was expressed so bravely.

The entry epitomized what our community oriented contests are truly about, and we couldn’t be more proud. This individual put their experience and emotions on the line, not just to Reframe the experience for themselves, but to help others that may be going through the same experience too.

S.S. Weems stated to us in an email “If my courage can show any other women that we do have a voice when it comes to abuse, then I’ve made a difference. Everyone has a voice, you just need the courage to find it. Don’t be afraid to speak up.”

And now without further adieu, here’s S.S. Weems’ Reframe of Reference. 

If you feel inspired to write your own Reframe of Reference after reading this one, click here to learn more about it:)


Old Story

When I was 18 years old and a freshman in college, I was raped by someone I considered a friend. He laughed at me, and mocked me. He forced me to look at him the entire time, he slapped me and spit in my face. When he was done he told me I was a disappointment because I couldn’t get aroused for him. He put on his jeans and walked out of my dorm.

For four hours I laid in my bed and cried. I was broken, used, worthless. I had his bruises on my neck and his words forever etched into my mind, “God look at you. You’re beautiful.” No, I wasn’t.

I spent five years in counseling and every day for the next six months looking over my shoulder wondering when someone would come up to me and laugh because I was the girl who “couldn’t say no.”

I spent the rest of my college career feeling worthless, like I didn’t matter to anyone. How could I find love someday when I was already so used up? No one wants sloppy seconds. No one wants to carry my baggage.

New Story

When I was 18 years old and a freshman in college, I learned how to be a fighter. I endured a trauma I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemies.

I overcame something that by all means could have ended me. I fought through fear and depression to become an advocate.

I built a new self image of myself step by step every time I walked into my counselors office. I turned self loathing into self love, worthlessness into worthiness, and broken into better than before. I spoke up, and spoke out.

I made a difference by bringing attention to a problem that is plaguing our college campuses. I used a horrible experience to educate other woman on how it’s possible to be strong in the face of everyone who assumes you can’t.

I found a voice in my own mind that allowed me to flourish into accepting that it was never my fault, that I did nothing wrong.

I found a man who when he utters the words “God, look at you. You’re perfect,” I bloom under them instead of wilt.

I figured out that baggage isn’t always a bad thing. It builds you into something. Baggage also isn’t meant to be carried alone, and I learned that finding happiness in a relationship with someone who finds your love worth its weight in gold is possible. Now he shares my load. I’m 25 now and at 18 I blossomed into a powerful woman with a strong voice.

We here at MassivePhobia don’t think it can get more powerful than the above Reframe of Reference. S.S. Weems took her experience and Reframed her life in a positive and strong way. It’s a shining example of her bravery/strength and an inspiration to us all. So we thank her once again.

If you are someone that has survived abuse or are currently in an abusive relationship and are still battling every day, our friends at BETTER HELP are here to listen to you if you need them by CLICKING HERE. The people at BETTER HELP are trained therapists that are here for you, no matter what life, addiction, or mental health issues you may be encountering. Their job is to listen if you need someone’s ear. So don’t hesitate if you need to talk right now. CLICK HERE.

Learn more about how to contribute your own Reframe of Reference story here🙂


1 Comment

  1. Laurel Leaside

    Congratulations S.S. Weems!!
    You captured the spirit of Reframe so completely by sharing both of your powerful stories! This is the real essence of what we were going for with this and I am so happy we can crown you our first RR winner. Thank you for having the courage to share, we so respect your anonymity- might be the best pen name ever!


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