Dear Judge Mental Jones,
I’ve always dreamt of being pregnant and being a mom. My fiancé is worried about me having Bipolar Type 2 and carrying the child, because I can’t stay on my meds when I’m pregnant. He insists that I’m “hard enough to deal with” fully medicated.
He also thinks that the baby could be born with Bipolar and has gone so far as to say he doesn’t even want to use my egg. We fight about it constantly. From the cost of a surrogate and the adoption procedures. At this point, he’s even got his mother involved and I feel like I’m being treated like a child. We both went to my doctor and he said that it’s feasible and that many Bipolar women have had successful pregnancies and are now wonderful loving mothers.
My mother has Bipolar Type 2 and she raised me to be good enough for him to marry, so why can’t we bear our own children? He keeps quoting “horror stories” from pregnancies that weren’t even related to mental illness…
At this point, I feel like we can’t get married- even though we’ve been together 5 years. We have to come to an agreement first. Why am I enough to love, but hard to deal with? Why am I sane enough to marry, but not bear a child? He even got his mom involved. This is making me “crazy”!!!! HELP!
Dear Why Am I Sane Enough To Marry But Not Enough To Bare A Child?
THIS ASSHOLE sounds like HE’S the one that needs help! Discriminating against his own fiancé!? About a lifelong investment!?!?! Because of the nine-month commitment to extra care !?!?!?!?!?!?!? Whatta douche.
Sounds like he’s not an ally and if he’s got you this stigmatized after five years IMAGINE the award-winning father he would be if your child DID battle ANY type of mental illness- even if the kid’s outsourced!
I can understand him trying to mitigate risk, but he’s an abusive dirtbag about it. Tell him to stop mansplaining pregnancy and mental health to you. Not cool bro.
If you two can’t see eye to eye on this major commitment, it might just be a red flag that he’s a sadistic over controlling prick and you should jump ship now. It’s also indicative of how supportive he will be as a (deadbeat) husband and (conditionally-loving) father. If he doesn’t battle mental illness, nor understand it, why not SEEK RESOURCES like your DOCTOR to get a professional opinion.
And getting his mom to gang up and bully you into a decision by sending too many links (arguably the worst type of debater..) then it’s time to set some conditions yourself. Your body. Your choice. Your pick of sperm. In fact, there are SPERM BANKS AND DONORS aplenty, and you could literally go strong independent woman on him and go the way of the lesbians. He’s not taking you into consideration at all. So with a separate egg and a separate person- he can be a single Dad all by himself.
Do it yourself! You don’t need no man like this in your life girl! If he agrees to seek therapy and go get educated by mental health specialists on the specifics of mental health and pregnancy, then he could bounce back as an ally. Therapy is less time consuming than FINDING ANOTHER LIFE PARTNER. But this guy is a clown, so this might be the Universe freeing you up to a non-stigmatized sexy loving cherishing and supportive partner for your future womb-born children. Don’t give up that OP for this fucking dink.
xo Judge Mental Jones
If you or a loved one you know battles with any Mental Health Issues, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.
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