Shadow of Regrets looms above me and chokes me off at my roots. Almost cradling me while I cower under it’s crushing weight. Sounds like a lot, but when they stop lurking from beneath the conscious and come out to play, they can come quite hard and be relentless.
They might wake me from a dead sleep, keep me up all night and follow me into the day. Blocking out any light, taunting me with a haunting choir of “coulda, shoulda, woulda’s.” Wailing worst case scenarios in the background, trying to tally the score, or fix what can’t be fixed, or find fault, show what will never be, how it’s too late, or just what a broken, irreparable mess the whole thing really is.
Out in the cold night (even if it’s day) to be guarded by the sad songs of the hungry Shadows of Regret.
The only way to make this monster of a shadow let go is to make peace. Haha ha, I know I wish I was kidding too. It sounds like a cruel joke and an absolute impossibility in some cases. And yet to banish the terrible haunting of regrets we have to find some kind of way to accept (no that might not always be the right fit,) to hold might be better, come to terms with? See, even talking about it hypothetically is a challenge because the list can be so varied and some of them very hard to know how to handle.
And since they come in all shapes and sizes, and depending on their origins the roads to silencing them can all look very different. Processing grief and anger, taking responsibility, letting go of blame, finding forgiveness, who know’s what else- might all be necessary steps along the way. One thing is for sure the more you try to hide the worse they usually become. If you are having a difficult time making peace with your past, it might be time to seek the help of an impartial professional to help you navigate your way to more peace, or at least pick up an excellent book on the subject to give you a little space from the voices and some new skills. Whatever you do just don’t let Shadow of Regrets give you even more to cry about by trying to run away- it will never work!
If you or a loved one you know battles with any Mental Health Issues, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.
This post was created with the help of Grammarly.