I was in a work meeting yesterday, and somehow the topic of sex addiction came up. A discussion ensued about it being a real thing or an excuse for behavior. I listened to my colleague’s viewpoints, and then I asked if they’d seen the movie ‘Shame’ starring Michael Fassbender aka Magneto for you comic book nerds out there. Both of them shook their heads no, and I implored them to rent it that evening.
The reason I asked them to watch it, specifically one of my colleagues, is because she’s having a very difficult time understanding her roommate’s actions and behaviors. She knows he’s caught in some internal conflict, but at the same time, he won’t discuss what’s really troubling him.
From what I’m told, he’s a sexually promiscuous male, who is sleeping with new women every day, and on some occasions sleeping with two different women on the same day. On top of that, he’s very homophobic outwardly, but her friends have seen him on Grindr, and one of them is also sleeping with him on the side. My friend thinks he’s really gay or bisexual and he’s too afraid to come out and possibly uses the women as a facade. However, my argument was that it didn’t matter what his sexual orientation is and that it just sounded like he’s battling sex addiction. And that brought me to the movie ‘Shame.’
When I saw Shame for the first time, I was in awe of the performance by Michael Fassbender. He was a man of very few words, but the communication of his need for sex and the shame he feels is all communicated through his eyes. At first, you think that his character is having fun and enjoying the game of the hunt, but by the end of the film, you can see plain as day, that this man is hurting and he can’t control anything that he’s doing. In the end, you’re left feeling heartbroken for this broken man.
When my colleague told me the story of her roommate, I immediately thought of Shame because the main character wasn’t necessarily gay, even though later in the film he was having male on male sex. You got the vibe that he was a heterosexual male through and through, but his need for sexual gratification was so intense sometimes, that he would seek out male sex clubs to get his fix because he knew it was the most accessible route to take to get what he needed at that moment.
I won’t go into any further details or spoilers, and I highly recommend you watch Shame if you haven’t already. You’ll be able to see/feel for yourself what it’s like to have sexual addiction as your reality, and you’ll be a more empathetic person for it too.
If you or a loved one you know battles with any Mental Health Issues, please do get the help you need. If you need to talk to someone now, you can talk to one of the many fantastic therapists at Better Help by CLICKING HERE.
This post was created with the help of Grammarly.
Photo Credit: Film4