Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired: Week 31 & 32

Posted by Edward Ernest | Aug 20, 2018 | Addiction, Self Esteem, Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired | 0 |

After falling off the wagon and feeling sick and tired once again, I fell into a deep hole of shame and stayed there for a whole week. Most of my time was spent binge-watching Netflix and avoiding texts and phone calls. My bounce back ability seemed to be non-existent, and I had no motivation to do any exercises, stretching, healthy eating and even work. I was a giant piece of shit, to put it bluntly. Week 31 was a complete, and it was scary how easy it was to fall back into a deep hole. However, week 32 had me crawl back out a little, and I have a fellow addict to thank for it.

I have a friend who also has addiction problems, and in my life, I’ve always been a top-notch assistant or supporter of other people. It didn’t matter what the situation was, I was Mr. Reliable. So when my friend called to tell me that she fell off the wagon, it was sadly a blessing for me. Yes, that’s shitty of me to say, but it was true. One, because misery loves company and I didn’t feel as alone. She understood me at that moment as she was going through it too. We were like each other’s sponsors. And number two, we got to organize or thoughts together and where do we go from here type conversation. I felt it was my responsibility to help her and in the process, be a role model for my friend to get her shit together and in the process, get myself moving forward again too.

One of our decisions was to bring back a weekly phone call with each other to keep ourselves accountable. Another decision I made in our talk was to try new ways of doing things. I’ve been making excuses about my injuries for awhile, but I wasn’t doing anything to fix the injuries or prevent them from happening again. So I decided that I was going to take up Yoga. Running and cardio were going to be a thing of the past. I was now going to bite the bullet, buy some sweat absorbent clothes, and take up hot yoga. I’ve always been afraid of being judged in these classes, but I’m going just to say ‘Fuck it’ and go. Nothing else is working, so it’s just time to switch things up. So this call was already working, and my mind is focusing on the positive outcomes of my decisions.

This has been one of the least funny posts I’ve ever made, and I apologize to those that came fo laughs. I promise that will change next week as you’ll get to read about my first Yoga class, which I’m sure will have my full neuroses on display.

The week after I’m going on a quick road trip with my brother and an old friend and I promise that will be a laugh fest as well. I PROMISE!

Now for bed.

Night Night.

Thanks for following my adventure of Being Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired. If you have any questions, I’m just an email away. Also, if you want to read from DAY ONE, CLICK HERE!


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