So I’ve been slow on getting my act together, but I finally made it out to yoga for my first time. I’m battling my addiction and at the same time fighting my body. So trying to get myself out of this hole has been difficult, but surprisingly, my last ditch attempt of taking yoga was actually a great start. Who would have thunk it?
I was pretty nervous going into the studio as I didn’t want to be embarrassed for my lack of flexibility. When I say that I’m not flexible, I mean that I can only touch my knees when bending over. Yes, I know that’s crazy, and I guess that’s because I’ve never appropriately stretched for my whole entire life. Now I’m thinking about my life regrets. Ughhhhhh! Anyway, I made sure I got to the class early so I could get a spot in the back corner and thankfully I did. I’m not sure I could handle being in the center. If that happened, I probably would have run away for another day.
I did my best not to make eye contact with anyone because, in a way, I did not want to be seen. I wanted to feel like I was in there alone if that makes sense. When the instructor came in, we started with a slow warm up, and then the heat started sinking in because this was a hot yoga class and I was finding out what this meant the hard way, and I was sweating profusely when making the smallest moves, and I felt like a ghastly beast, and then I realized that my clothes were not suited for hot yoga as they began to get heavy and weigh on me. Lesson learned. Getting sweat absorbing clothes will be needed for my second time. But enough about my clothes. Let’s get to the movements.
I had no idea what most of the movements were called, and the need to always be peeking my head up started to strain my neck. Inside I was kinda crying, wondering why the instructor was going so fast with the names, and I just wished that she knew that I was just a beginner. That stupid downward dog looks fucking easy, but after the fourth one, I was dying. I think the class was fifteen minutes in and my arms and legs were literally turning into jelly. Then you throw in the fact that it was hard to breathe due to the heat, and I just wished it was over right there and then. However, I was not going to quit, and I knew I had to will myself to the end of this hour even if it killed me.
Yes, I know that defeats the purpose of yoga, and I kinda learned that as the class went on, as I actually needed to take a little break because I thought I was going to barf everywhere. I should not have eaten a burger for dinner, and I’ve now learned that lesson as well. Solid lesson to learn on day one. Don’t eat anything before hot yoga.
As far as feeling embarrassed by other people watching me, it didn’t even cross my mind. I was too busy wiping all the sweat off my face and hoping I wouldn’t barf. When we got to moves where people might be looking in my direction, I kinda caught a second wind, and we started doing moves that hit my wheelhouse as far as my body strength and balance goes. Now with fifteen minutes left, a feeling of relief came over me, like if vampires were after me all night and the sun was going to rise at any minute. Nice try vampires! But you didn’t fucking kill me, you losers! But instead of vampires, it was yogis.
And then we were asked to lie down, and we did some meditation type stuff, and then……..it was over. I made it…..and I felt exhausted but at the same time invigorated. I could feel that every part of my body had been worked out and it was satisfied. My only wish was understanding the terminology better because my neck strain hurt was truly painful, so I waited to talk to the instructor when everyone was mostly gone.
When I got her one on one, I told her I was new and was wondering where I could learn the move names as her speed was a little too fast for me. I thought I was being friendly and diplomatic, but I guess it didn’t come out of my mouth well, and she got a little defensive, but then I put up a timeout sign. Yes, I actually did that, and I said, ‘this was my first class ever.’ I guess the look on my face while I did this was endearing, because the next words out of her mouth were ‘Bless Your Heart’ and she explained that over time, just by coming often, I’d pick up the names and not to worry.
So it all ended on a high note. I mean, I am dreading going to the next class because most of the time I wanted to barf, and my body hurt, and my neck felt like shock voltages were being sent through it, but it’s all a means to an end, and in a placebo effect way, I can feel it working already.
So that’s it for today.
Thanks for following my adventure of Being Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired. If you have any questions, I’m just an email away. Also, if you want to read from DAY ONE, CLICK HERE!