Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired: Day 52

Posted by Edward Ernest | Sep 21, 2017 | Body Image, Self Esteem, Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired | 0 |

You’ll notice that I had a 30k plus Fitbit day today as I walked to and from the office, plus I went on a long errand for lunch. That errand being shopping as I’m going to Florida tomorrow to visit my parents and needed some things.  It was a mall walk lunch.

Now back to me being obsessed with my weight again, ala my Day 51 post. Yeah, fuck me.

I can’t keep away from the scale. When I’m home I jump on it too many times and I’ve become  unhealthy because of it. I’m ruining what’s supposed to be a refreshing ‘new me’ experience with all of my insecurities now coming to the forefront. 

It’s like once I got passed the point of you’re healthy again and your heart is back to normal and your exercising and solid eating habits are going to make your life great again, my own inner critic had to jump in the way and say, “great work Fatty Mcfatterson! You think you’re skinny, you’re more like fat skinny, nice fat neck, or head, it all looks like one these days.”

Yes, here’s my old 23 year old manorexic inner critic jumping into the light after lurking in the shadows for so long. I hate him so much.

This evil asshole has just been sitting and waiting for me. It’s like he wanted me to reach a new height, knowing if I got high enough, the thud he’d hear when he tried to rip me down would be louder and more painful than ever.

It seems I’m in for a fight as this asshole inner critic won’t be leaving anytime soon. 

The best thing I can think of is to rid myself of a scale when I move into my new place so I never have to see my weight again. The thought of the scale is when he creeps up the most.

I think I’m getting close to the point where I can feel and listen to what my body is telling me, so I won’t need the scale anymore? Is this wishful thinking? Have I reverted back to being a scared child?

Ugggggghhhh! I need to get back on the mindfulness bandwagon. If only I had the patience.

So yeah, my inner critic can pretty much go fuck himself.

Enjoy my Fitbit stats below.


Weight: 175 Pounds

Steps: 30,303

Distance: 25.72 km

Floors: 46

Time: 181 Minutes

Peak Heart Rate: 0 Minutes

Cardio Heart Rate: 7 Minutes

Fat Burn Heart Rate: 3 Hr 19 Minutes

Resting Heart Beats Per Minute: 61

Calories Burned: 3873

Calories Taken In: 1690

Food Log

(All Calories Are Best Estimates. When In Doubt I Went Higher)


(I’ve never been a breakfast guy FYI. Eating breakfast at all is new to me.)

Oatmeal with Fruit: 41o Calories


Garden Salad: 508 Calories

Afternoon Snack

Watermelon: 132 Calories


Sushi With Veggies: 508 Calories

Evening Snack

Watermelon: 132 Calories

Thanks for following my adventure of Being Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired. If you have any questions, I’m just an email away. Also, if you want to read from DAY ONE, CLICK HERE!

This post was created with the help of Grammarly.

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