After last weeks dating debacle, I began to question my role in the whole situation and how I handled the mutual parting of ways. I tired myself out by overthinking how I could have been nicer to my date and made things about me, instead of agreeing that she shouldn’t be in a relationship right now.
Am I being too hard on myself? Am I over analyzing things? I just think that instead of making someone else possibly feel bad about themselves, it was very easy for me just to say that I wasn’t ready to date because that is actually a true statement. Is this the Enneagram Six coming out of me? Do you know what the Enneagram is? If you don’t know what that is, just click on the link and find out. I swear by it.
Anyway, that one day threw me for a loop. Immediately, when my date called for help, I dropped what I was doing and went over there to take care of her needs. I barely knew this person, and I jumped to try and be the good guy. Then I remained there even after I was accused of staring at her friend’s breasts when it wasn’t true. I tried to smooth things out instead of just leaving because I still felt that she was distressed and needed to be around someone. I was making excuses for someone I didn’t even know, and I was setting myself up for more of this down the road.
So going back to the question, am I over analyzing how I handled the end? Yes, I am. I’m still relatively new at standing up for myself, so sometimes when I’m in deep, when I try to get out, I overdo it, and everything comes out wrong or not the way I planned. I may look like a jerk but it’s just a protection mechanism. Eventually, I’ll get better at it, and I won’t be over analyzing myself like I am right now.
The one thing that I did notice as an offshoot is how I felt after this whole episode. I ate terribly all week, and my exercise regime suffered too. I went to a few movies and just sat on the couch. It’s pretty amazing how such a small thing can set me back a little. At least I’m noticing the connection between the two things, and hopefully, I can nip this in the bud faster, now that I know that my mood can drop so fast.
Self-esteem is a pretty fine line with me it seems. Just like that, the thread can break, and send me downhill after a solid twenty weeks of being built up.
I guess these things will happen on this journey. It’s up to me to dust myself off, take notes, and keep going. If you’re reading this, hopefully, you can do the same thing as well.
That’s it for this week. Night Night.
To learn about the Enneagram. CLICK HERE!
Thanks for following my adventure of Being Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired. If you have any questions, I’m just an email away. Also, if you want to read from DAY ONE, CLICK HERE!