I don’t know if it’s my inability to exercise recently due to my injury or if I’m just becoming an irritable old fart, but it seems in this past week when some folks and I were discussing my single-dom, I felt quite misunderstood. And quite frankly, I’m Sick and Tired of people telling me their opinions on my personal matter right about now.
Do I desire to be in a relationship? In reality, when I really look at who I am, the answer is actually no. Many people in my friend group and not in my friend group will opine, that my view will change when I meet the right girl….. and that infuriates me to no end.
Others chalk up my single-dom to being an immature older male, and in some ways that can be considered correct, but in many other ways, I’m actually more mature than most. Yes, you read that correctly. I know it’s shocking, but I am more mature than most. It’s true. I’m a walking contradiction in a way. So yes, it’s confusing to many, but not to me.
Then there’s the group of people that think I’m selfish and that I need to be more compromising when it comes to relationships. And to these people, I’m giving you a giant fuck off and die because you obviously don’t know me at all. Being unselfish has been my biggest weakness in life, as getting walked all over, used to be my favorite past time. So screw you, people!!
In the last week, I’ve encountered all three of these observations regarding my life, which set me off on an angry tirade at home. So while I stewed on my couch, I thought maybe it was best to try and figure out how I can take this rage/topic and encompass it into this website.
So I scoured the internet, looking up things like ‘Am I depressed or am I just a loner?’, ‘Am I selfish or do I just like being alone?’ and ‘Why is it so wrong to like being alone?’
Most of the stuff I found told me that something must have happened to me as a child and that I was broken. But guess what?!! These sites told me I could go to a therapist and get fixed.
At this point, I wanted to throw something across the room, mainly something like clothes as I wouldn’t want to throw this computer as I love my computer. It knows everything about me and never judges. Anyway, I went to a therapist for many years and taken lots of workshops too. I know what makes me tick. And when all is said and done, I’m just hardwired this way.
I just wanted someone this week to get me and understand that…………and then…….I did. I have no idea how I found it, but I stumbled upon an interview with Henry Rollins and everything he said hit home. Finally, someone understood me, and it was if the clouds parted and the sun started shining on me. It was the find I had been waiting for all my life. If someone now asks me why I’m not in a relationship, I will just send them the video below. This is what heaven must feel like.
After all these years, it turns out that Henry Rollins is my spirit animal. Who would have thunk that.
Until next week….
Thanks for following my adventure of Being Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired. If you have any questions, I’m just an email away. Also, if you want to read from DAY ONE, CLICK HERE!